Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When...

By Anonymous - 23/10/2011 11:45 - United States

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 268

You deserved it 4 593

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Same thing different taste

By no name - 22/02/2011 12:25

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 951

You deserved it 4 785

By jaqlove - 02/07/2016 20:28 - United States - Clementon

Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 017

You deserved it 2 643

Added protein

By Anonymous - 10/02/2021 00:30

Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 177

By dire-rear - 16/01/2010 20:19 - Singapore

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 085

You deserved it 3 653

Minty freshness

By Sergie - 04/06/2010 09:28 - Ireland

Today, I was getting ready for my first day at work. Right before leaving the house I brushed my teeth thoroughly one more time to have a fresh breath. While cleaning my tongue, I went too far, which made me throw up. I was 20 minutes late for work. Good start. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 198

You deserved it 28 367

By Anonymous - 07/02/2014 18:51 - Mayotte - Mamoudzou

Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 278

You deserved it 3 661

By foxbrat - 11/10/2009 06:18 - United States

Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 226

You deserved it 3 295

By laurenmichela - 12/10/2015 21:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I coughed so much I threw up, then whilst recovering from throwing up, a fly flew into my mouth and I ate it. I then promptly threw up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 632

You deserved it 2 098

By Sarah-grace - 17/05/2016 22:20 - United States - Benton

Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 801

You deserved it 1 506

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 537

You deserved it 238

DinosaursAreCool_fml 8

Sunday 23 October 2011 19:19

That's nasty (Cleveland voice)

shellzy 20

Sunday 23 October 2011 19:19

Oh god...I just threw up a little. Cockroach free at least.

Comments

steph_breezy 0

Monday 24 October 2011 0:06

uuhh I don't believe you O_o

CmarieMC23 3

Monday 24 October 2011 0:06

Ugh reading this made me throw up a little

lvlytwin 0

Monday 24 October 2011 0:10

Ewe. You nasty!!

zues70 4

Monday 24 October 2011 0:31

YES!!!....YES!!!

H00DN1663R 0

Monday 24 October 2011 0:31

An I the only one who finds it weird that you normally throw up when you brush your teeth? WTF?

LaDeFreakinDa 4

Monday 24 October 2011 0:38

La Cucaracha, La Cucaracha.

MEGATRON1093 4

Monday 24 October 2011 0:38

Wtf

SCrazy_fml 0

Monday 24 October 2011 0:54

It's odd enough that you threw up a little, let alone a fricken **** roach came out.

mynameisTiffany 0

Monday 24 October 2011 0:56

I'd get myself checked.

LoveLessXlll 8

Monday 24 October 2011 1:08

"BRUSHING YOUR TEETH" You're doing it wrong......REALLY wrong!

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I agree, your life sucks 31 326

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Same thing different taste

Added protein

Minty freshness

Wardrobe change please

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