Intimacy: Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months....

By Anonymous - 18/08/2015 13:26 - United States - Manchester

Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 323

You deserved it 4 024

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Turned on

By Anonymous - 31/03/2012 15:10 - United States

Today, I got sexually excited thinking about what kind of donuts I wanted to get in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 532

You deserved it 11 121

By Cake Dreams - 08/10/2018 22:15

Today, I had a dream wherein a deep, sensual voice was talking sexy to me. "Yeah girl, you want this. Mmm." It wasn't the man of my dreams trying to seduce me. It was a piece of chocolate cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 010

You deserved it 536

By wtfdreams - 17/05/2009 12:33 - United States

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193 112

You deserved it 50 216

Poor pillow

By Randy Candy - 12/02/2021 17:01 - United States

Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 287

You deserved it 271

Inactive

By inbogota - 06/03/2021 15:30 - Colombia

Today, I had the most action in months when I woke up to a wet dream. I'm married, I guess that tells you all about my sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 160

Hottttt

By whatthefuck - 27/12/2015 23:22 - United States - Providence

Today, I had a dream where I was having the best sex of my life. With Donald Trump. My boyfriend hasn't stopped laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 609

You deserved it 5 708

By hdat - 11/06/2009 17:51 - Canada

Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 928

You deserved it 16 197

By damnit - 16/10/2009 17:27 - United States

Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 689

You deserved it 4 261

By Anonymous - 17/02/2013 19:19 - Botswana - Francistown

Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 960

You deserved it 6 002

Wandering

By kmyltd - 14/09/2016 06:18 - Australia - Mount Eliza

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I remembered I had a Reese's Krispy Kreme doughnut in the car. I orgasmed while thinking about a doughnut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 872

You deserved it 3 587

ladytigerhunts 20

Wednesday 19 August 2015 6:58

At least it was in a hole.

LyricaSilvan 29

Wednesday 19 August 2015 6:58

I don't think that's the kind of "sweet" tail you want to be getting.

Comments

Witchylady 17

Thursday 20 August 2015 1:03

Wow your twisted dreaming mind is a response to your twisted day time thoughts. Hmmm sounds a bit suspect to me

TheDevilsDevices 15

Thursday 20 August 2015 1:37

I got nothin...??

PePziNL 20

Thursday 20 August 2015 2:25

Hey when it comes to ******* baked goods, do or donut.

mintae 10

Thursday 20 August 2015 8:14

I mean, long johns and donut holes were always good together..

Captain_Debilos_fml 13

Thursday 20 August 2015 8:14

stop eating shit without taste

mintae 10

Thursday 20 August 2015 8:15

I mean, long johns and donut holes do go together..

Bibblejomin 18

Thursday 20 August 2015 20:54

That went from 0-100 REAL quick...

freddygasman 18

Friday 21 August 2015 2:15

don't you mean "donut be embarrassed." and to 95 either tell us where you get those donuts our you need a good woman.

freddygasman 18

Friday 21 August 2015 2:18

I'm never eating a custard filled donut or one with a hole in it again without wondering and laughing about this again.

lackjink 6

Friday 21 August 2015 8:09

I'm sorry but that's really funny

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The Top

Today, while I was showering, someone left a note on the bathroom door that read, "We can all hear you masturbating. Shut the hell up." I don't know what's more embarrassing, that everyone in my house thought I was masturbating or that I was actually singing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 052

You deserved it 372

Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 2 019

The Top

Today, dealing with anxiety and depression, I finally got up the energy to bake. I chose homemade enchiladas. I then spent the whole day walking from the toilet to the nearest couch (and vice versa), feeling like my intestines were going to blow. No more enchiladas for me for a long time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 752

You deserved it 200

Today, my roommate used my PC without asking. Long story short, it's now infected with ransomware. The dissertation I've been working on for months is now encrypted, along with all the backups on my second hard drive. Now I have to pay the hackers $1,500 to get the decryption key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 467

You deserved it 2 118

Today, I went to my new dentist to get my teeth cleaned. He kept getting distracted, causing him to repeatedly stab me in the gums. He then had the nerve to tell me that I need to brush more, due to how I was bleeding just from his "routine examination". FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 147

You deserved it 1 729

Today, I had to complete a project for my course in Italian. We had to write a little paragraph about a friend. I had to make one up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 185

You deserved it 6 270

Today, I was dying my hair a subtly different color. It was only supposed to turn my hair a shade or two lighter, but it seems someone at the store thought it would be funny to switch the dye in the boxes around. My hair is purple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 448

You deserved it 8 258

Today, I locked my keys in my truck. The good news is that I have a spare set in my house. The bad news is that my house key is on the same keyring as my locked-in truck key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 645

You deserved it 9 720