Miscellaneous: Today, I found out my grandma sleeps in the nude. I witnessed... - FML

By IrisKitty - United States - Englewood

Today, I found out my grandma sleeps in the nude. I witnessed her running naked from her bedroom to the bathroom, because she "didn't have enough time" to put on her robe. I need to get my own place. FML

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BO Central

You can't win sometimes

Night terrors

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, after having a shower, I walked back into my room butt naked. As I looked up I saw the window cleaner staring right at me. I looked. He looked. And without thinking I dropped straight to the floor to hid myself, then realized my naked butt was still staring right at him. FML

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By schmoodles - United States

Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML

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By TwiceDaily,Kids - United States

Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML

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By BarryShitpeas - United Kingdom - Cranbrook

Today, my enjoyment of popping bubble wrap was yet again ruined by my excessive OCD tendencies. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the channel manually on it, and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial for the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this for an hour now. I'm a female, and I'm beginning to feel like I need this product. FML

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By toastedguy - United States

Today, I went on my first date in a long time. We went to see "New Moon." After the girl stole my hat, I grabbed her phone. While trying to get it back, she held a lighter to me, threatening me. Next thing I know my beard is on fire, so not only did I have to sit through horrible acting, I got burnt. FML

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By useless pos - Australia - Sydney

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I made my young niece lunch. After she claimed to have eaten it all, she wanted to go out and play. I was putting my shoes on when I found part of the sandwich I made her stuffed in my shoe. FML

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By notgoodenough38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend left me for my sister. I can't stop thinking about all those days they went out alone for "girl time." FML

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By pathetic - Australia

Today, it's Saturday night, and also Halloween. Instead of going out, I'm sitting at home on MSN telling everyone who asks me what I'm doing tonight that I'm 'going out in 10 minutes to a party', then when 10 minutes pass, I block them. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I realized how bad my grey hair problem has gotten as I noticed I had grey pubes. I'm only 23. FML

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By Anonymous - 3/2/2021 19:55

Fill her up

Today, I'm nearly done with my cortisol treatment for a persistent multi-day migraine. Good news: it actually stopped for the last two blissful, pain-free days. Bad news: apparently anything less than the maximum dose of cortisol doesn't prevent me from getting a new migraine. Here we go again. FML

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By geeb - United States

Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to take her to her AA meeting. FML

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By Amanda G Rich - 25/11/2020 02:02

Lose the boyfriend, not the weight

Today, yet again. my boyfriend told me I'm getting fat, even after I told him to stop and that it's affecting my mental health. I had an eating disorder previously, and now I'm thinking about going back to just eating an apple a day. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I got an e-mail from a guy I'd had a one night stand with. He wanted to get together to talk about it. Turns out he's in rehab and he wanted to address the biggest mistakes he'd ever made in his life. I am a on a drug addict's list of regrets. FML

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By Username

Today, the guy who sits next to me in my psychology class openly admitted to torturing animals as a child. It's going to be a long semester. FML

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By blah! - United States - Newington

Today, my grandkids went around my house claiming items to inherit. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/7/2020 17:01

Nutritious

Today, I caught my dog “cleaning” the cat’s litter box. He won’t be giving me any kisses anytime soon. FML

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By notcool - United States

Today, I learned that my anxious and obsessive mother is going to drive three hours every weekend to attend a Johns Hopkins medical course on stress reduction. Why is this bad? I just left home for college and have enjoyed my last two weeks of freedom without her around. I attend Johns Hopkins. FML

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By FrOsTy25

Today, I ran a red light in front of a cop and got pulled over. My friend thought it would be funny to throw a knife in my lap and scream "Help me officer, he has a knife!" FML

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By ICallBullshxt

Today, I added my boss to the "ew" list on Skype. I then realized it sends her a notification. FML

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By Sleeping Beauty - United States - Jamestown

Lookin' good

Today, I took a nap on the couch. Apparently, my wife decided to put makeup all over my face as I slept. She didn't tell me until after I went to the gas station to grab some beer. Looks like I will have to find a new place to buy beer from now on. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Lewes

Today, I found out that licking your very chapped lips while totally zoned out and looking in the general direction of a girl, will end up with you becoming the massive college creeper that everyone avoids. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on a date to the zoo. I soon found out that my date had eaten several hash brownies before entering. FML

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By "AdorableDoxie"

Today, I fell asleep in the school bus on the way back home when my loud fart woke me and a few other kids up. I am a teacher. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, as I was walking home, I passed some little girls who threw a bunch of snowballs at me. I dodged every single one, ran away laughing, and gave them the finger. I then ran into a snowman. FML

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By Jessica - United States

Today, I found out that my best friend won $1,000 in a photography contest. With a photo I took. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia

TMI

Today, I played Call Of Duty online against someone who turned out to be wanking. FML

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By crazycatlady - United States - Charlotte

Rescue cat

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML

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By Ineedlotsofwater - United States - Seattle

Today, I found out why I receive random drug tests at work. The safety department was specifically told by my boss to check up on me because I always seem way too cheerful to not be high. I've passed every single test. FML

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By whorica139 - United States

Today, I told my friend over videochat every explicit detail of what I had in store for my boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that her whispering during the story was her way of trying to tell me her dad was in the room listening to the whole thing. FML

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By James - United States

Today, my neighbor installed a large radio that loudly plays Christmas music 24/7. When I called in a complaint to the police department they told me to, "get in the Christmas spirit." FML

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By Dan223 - United States

Today, I saw my dad for the first time in almost five years, at his funeral. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I got turned down from a job I really wanted. Six hours later, the guy called me again and delivered the same news, not realizing he had already called this morning. Thanks for rubbing it in. FML

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By Davios - United States

Today, I moved in with an older gentleman renting out a room. Tonight, he had a domestic dispute with his girlfriend who threw a lawn chair at my car. FML

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By horno - United States - San Francisco

Today, I asked my dad why the Wi-fi was down. He just replied, "Why? Horno can't get no more porno?" No, "Horno" has an assignment. WTF? FML

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By edot - United Kingdom

Today, I went to see John Mayer. Being 6'2", I didn't think there would be any trouble seeing the stage, until three 6'6" men stood directly in front of me, pissed in a cup and managed to spill it over me. FML

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By chattyloz - United Kingdom

Today, I had to unpick a wedgie in the street. I backed against a wall, lifted my skirt and sorted it. I then turned around and caught eye contact with several men in the barbers behind me. Not such a solid wall after all. FML

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By

Today, I realized that I hadn't heard anything about my upcoming class reunion. Turns out it was an invite via Facebook that I didn't receive because most of my classmates are on my block list. FML

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Top comments

By ryannmichael | 17

#6385137 - Wednesday 19 August 2015 1:15

Just run & walk around naked, you need to show your dominance.

By websphere69 | 27

#6385145 - Wednesday 19 August 2015 1:18

Oh yes they call her the streak!

COMMENTS

By ryannmichael | 17

#6385137 - Wednesday 19 August 2015 1:15

Just run & walk around naked, you need to show your dominance.

By missa1996 | 18

#6385144 - Wednesday 19 August 2015 1:17

Yikes OP. Hopefully you'll be able to erase that image from your brain.

By websphere69 | 27

#6385145 - Wednesday 19 August 2015 1:18

Oh yes they call her the streak!

Reply

weswheatley | 14

#6385239 - Wednesday 19 August 2015 2:32

Boogity boogity!

Reply

Redgy22 | 26

#6385310 - Wednesday 19 August 2015 4:31

Fastest thing on two feet!!!

Reply

johnrdz3 | 24

#6385337 - Wednesday 19 August 2015 4:57

I didn't know the flash was OP's grandma

Reply

Ichiya | 29

#6385386 - Wednesday 19 August 2015 5:43

Ethel you get your clothes back on!!

By TeasinDaNoobs | 16

#6385153 - Wednesday 19 August 2015 1:19

Some things you just can't unsee, sorry OP

By Liamj774 | 36

#6385156 - Wednesday 19 August 2015 1:20

Did she tell from her glory days of running without a robe

By WhoopteDo | 26

#6385157 - Wednesday 19 August 2015 1:21

Get your own place indeed, then you can run around naked in your own home. in the meantime, I recommend acetone over bleach, it does a better job.

By TheNewGuy03 | 28

#6385158 - Wednesday 19 August 2015 1:21

That's the stuff of nightmares right there.

By rileyrae0000 | 23

#6385171 - Wednesday 19 August 2015 1:32

I would be utterly horrified

By Swandive235 | 27

#6385177 - Wednesday 19 August 2015 1:37

Hi, I live near you. Lol, but yeah... that's scarring.

Reply

Lalala579121 | 27

#6385507 - Wednesday 19 August 2015 7:43

You should have just asked OP to move in with you, we all know that's what you were thinking.

Reply

SubparAtBest | 23

#6385604 - Wednesday 19 August 2015 10:45

gotta get some irisKitty

By gracehi | 31

#6385180 - Wednesday 19 August 2015 1:38

At least you didn't have to wash her soiled sheets.

Reply

beeferjay | 34

#6385231 - Wednesday 19 August 2015 2:16

or give her a sponge bath...