Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I got sexually excited thinking about what kind of donuts I wanted to get in the morning. FML
Today, I had a dream wherein a deep, sensual voice was talking sexy to me. "Yeah girl, you want this. Mmm." It wasn't the man of my dreams trying to seduce me. It was a piece of chocolate cake. FML
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, I had the most action in months when I woke up to a wet dream. I'm married, I guess that tells you all about my sex life. FML
Today, I had a dream where I was having the best sex of my life. With Donald Trump. My boyfriend hasn't stopped laughing. FML
Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML
Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I remembered I had a Reese's Krispy Kreme doughnut in the car. I orgasmed while thinking about a doughnut. FML
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Top comments
ladytigerhunts 20
At least it was in a hole.
LyricaSilvan 30
I don't think that's the kind of "sweet" tail you want to be getting.
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Comments (113)
Blah123459876 3
lol I'm gonna be laughing for hours I'm sorry though
Sam_Dchi 23
this was wild from start to finish haha
eddy1965 6
Tonight maybe you will dream of buttering a muffin.
_Zobo_ 3
At least you got some. In my fantasy I would escort the doughnut home and we'd become good friends, since having sex with a stranger seems most inappropriate. I hate myself :(
ohSNAPyall 27
Who said it was a stranger? He's been married to that donut for ten years!
Miss_Whipped 43
You're commenting too much on this FML and it's upsetting me. :( And not just for the frequency either. Some of your comments are extremely lame.
ohSNAPyall 27
Waaah
LittleRich 10
Well every holes a Goal right!?!?....
ShirtlessWonder 17
Dreams are a weird thing. A week or so ago I dreamed that I went down on a full gallon carton of orange juice. Don't ask me how that works.
Goblin182 27
Oh that sweet gooey goodness.
IWishIWasObama 12
and...?
writerchic85 26
Time for a Dunkin donuts run!
Tehlu 12
Are you a cop by chance?