Intimacy: Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine...

By hdat - 11/06/2009 17:51 - Canada

Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 930

You deserved it 16 197

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/08/2015 13:26 - United States - Manchester

Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 324

You deserved it 4 024

By frankrizzo - 01/02/2009 17:29 - Canada

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 029

You deserved it 9 025

By human - 21/06/2019 00:01

Today, I had a dream in which I was eating vast quantities of pizza, cookies, and pastries. I became so anxious about all the calories that I woke up. Even in my dreams I'm self conscious about my diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 521

You deserved it 240

By Anonymous - 10/07/2012 10:03 - United States

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 869

You deserved it 41 350

By idk ask freud - 04/07/2013 04:11 - United States - Portland

Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 751

You deserved it 9 900

By wtfdreams - 17/05/2009 12:33 - United States

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193 112

You deserved it 50 216

By urgg - 05/09/2010 14:20 - United States

Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 899

You deserved it 5 006

Poor pillow

By Randy Candy - 12/02/2021 17:01 - United States

Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 287

You deserved it 271

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 10:03 - United States - Norwalk

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 034

You deserved it 2 310

No shit

By Anonymous - 26/03/2022 11:00 - Australia - Aspley

Today, I had a dream that I was having one of the best poops of my life. I woke up feeling very content and relaxed, until I rolled over and realised it wasn't a dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 213

_Skies 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 23:31

Thinking about them Twinkies again eh?

swirlsofhoney 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 23:29

hey vending machine food is good just not that good...

Comments

rukusrazor 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 23:33

You sound hot.

koritsiamou 2

Wednesday 5 October 2011 13:14

You sound hot haha

boundforglorywt 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 23:33

haha thats whats up

deliciouskaek 1

Thursday 11 June 2009 23:33

Dude, seriously? You throw rocks at people? That's just ****** up, wow.

jeanniner 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 23:35

yum?

Yulia_fml 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 23:35

hahaha I bet #12 is an epic fail because this sounds like a guy, not a girl. but who knows. On another note, *yawn.* not the best of fml's IMO.

daniisme 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 10:40

OPs a chick. sounds like a chick n e way... and btw, imo, means potato in Japanese...

awkwardturtley 0

Saturday 7 August 2010 4:44

dude it SAYS female...

MissBunnyfufu 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 23:35

really me too?!!!! jk but mmm orgasmic food

grammar_nazi 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 23:37

#4 Why the hell would you expect him to know every single FML posted and post an original one? FMLs aren't made up (or so I would think). This is what happened to him, can't change that.

jeanniner 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 23:37

and wrong FML #13. wow we have some geniuses on this site...

depotst 0

Friday 9 April 2010 16:53

love your pic, a lot :)

cutebutpsycho 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 23:40

What?!?! Well, I have a less weird story about this. I was dreaming about eating a delicious cinnamon roll, and I woke up, looked at my finger, and licked it. I was awake when I did this. I felt so stupid. Anyway, YDI for whatever this is.