By bitchyhiccups - 19/03/2012 13:14 - United States - Tempe

Today, I got a horrible case of the hiccups while at my friend's mother's funeral, resulting in me squeaking loudly every five seconds during the eulogy. My friend glared daggers at me until I left the room, then later accused me of being an insensitive bitch for "trying to ruin the funeral." FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 337
You deserved it 4 502

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Did you try holding your breath to stop the hiccups? Works for me. But yeah its not like they're voluntary. That sucks.

It sucks that you had the hiccups but you should have quietly excused yourself and left


Did you try holding your breath to stop the hiccups? Works for me. But yeah its not like they're voluntary. That sucks.

kimgr 9

Why would she hold her breath in the middle of a eulogy..

8- you hold your breath briefly to try and stop them.

n_epic_fail 14

I'd like to call the friend a bitch... But death messes with people's emotions.

Or just excuse yourself and slip out quietly, and return when they have calmed down?

8, I agree. The only reason 1 would suggest that is for the OP to suffocate him/herself. Then OP would get all the attention again because she'd die at a funeral at a young age.

Its impossible to suffocate yourself by holding your breath. You would pass out first and start breathing again.

Thanks 35, I knew that but forgot to mention I was being sarcastic.

osnapitzaris 0

either you're realllly bad at sarcasm..or I'm just realllly bad at detecting it.

emogiggles 0

No really their just bad at sarcasm

PenguinSwag47 0

Wow, even I knew she was sarcastic.

it's not dyslexia. Dyslexia is a problem where the letters seem upside down or backwards. stop being an insensitive bastard and making fun of crippled people. Dyslexia isn't something to joke about.

63, wrong comment & first, she didn't make fun of anyone. Second, dyslexic people aren't crippled. Lastly, it could very be she had the q flipped into a p... so what are you on about?

You're right, I lied :O I believe a person can really suffocate themselves! People don't "drown", they suffocate. When we find bodies that are dead from "natural causes", is actually suffocation. The man is making you all blind to the truth! (Sarcasm, again)

#68 - Ahh good point. Stupid of me to reply to the wrong comment. (Braces for a hellish hurricane of thumbs down).

hurtandabused 7

I have a Problem where I get random hiccups n I cant stop them by holding my breath.

#95 - ... is an ellipses. "...." doesn't exist.

^you have to be the biggest grammar nazi ever to take issue with an improper use of ellipses

fricknugget 3

Everyone says holding your breath works! Not for me!!!, i usually get somebody to pull bak my ears while i drink. WORKS!!!!

robinhood007 9

80 I think you're awesome and everyone here is just being a douche because once people start hating on someone on FML everyone has to do it...ridiculous. And watch, now I'll get thumbed down for that (or up because it's true and everyone knows it)

TheElderTROLLZ 15

Reminds me of when I was nine or ten. I was at my grandfathers funeral when (while we were crying) me and my sister kept looking at each other and laughing.

132- I don't hate her because everyone else does, I hate her because she's a moron.

MissNicky_fml 0

your retarded! If you hold your breath it stops the hiccups Duh! it has nothing to do with sufficating dumbass

#26 It's impossible to die from holding your breath- after a time your body will force you to breathe

doglover100 28

Holding my breath and swallowing 3 times works for me.

nentenkupo 16

Holding breath doesn't work for everyone. I have tried holding my breath- even closing my mouth and pinching my nose- and I still hiccuped while not breathing.

Why did you have to speak loudly? All you had to do was sink quietly into your chair each time you had a hiccup.

I have chronic hiccoughs; I've gone to several specialists about them (to no avail). I have ZERO control over how loud I "squeak" and have never met anyone who claims that they can control the volume of their hiccoughs. I'm never even aware that there's about to be another one, so how can I be expected control it? OP, I feel your pain. The height of my hiccough issues was during a period in my life when my job required I frequently take business calls. Thankfully, most of the people I spoke to (mostly reps) were understanding and found it amusing.

I highly doubt that you're actually dyslexic

emogiggles 0

I have dyslexia it's really sucks

The_Troller 14

I feel really bad for laughing at that "it's".

@69, why do you keep calling them "hiccoughs"???

Troller I'm not sure why, but I find your profile pic hilarious. Needless to say, only one of us can have it. Now go on with your day, I won't be in your closet waiting for you to fall asleep. ;)

Hiccups and Hiccoughs are actually the same thing, just spelled differently. They were originally known as hiccoughs because in olden times doctors believed them to be related to coughing. Hiccup is the more modern spelling.

she could always close her mouth. I have super violent hiccups and it always helps me keep it quieter.

MissHayleyJames 7

Well if you have a stuffy nose and have to breathe through your mouth you can't keep it closed.

MissNicky_fml 0

why do u call them "hiccoughs"??

Wow… hasn't he ever had the hiccups before? He should know you can't really control them. Oh and F your friends life for his mom dying

22cute 17

Really YDI because manners dictate you should have left the room when the hiccups started. Just like if you had a crying baby. The baby cannot help crying but only a fool would let it go on during a funeral. It's about the family of the deceased, not YOU.

Then the friend would have accused them of being rude for leaving and still accused the poor woman of trying to ruin the funeral. Besides that, babies often cry for a reason and will stop after they get what they want but some people can't stop their hiccups no matter what they try and can only wait for them to disappear. Plus, depending on where they were sitting, it might have been difficult to leave their seat without disturbing quite a few other people.

What 103 said is pretty much spot on. There's no way OP could've looked good.

robinhood007 9

No he's not spot on. It was rude to stay while hiccuping. Has nothing to do with looking bad or not it is that fact that it is respectful to the deceased family and the people trying to listen. The friend might have just gotten angry at whatever happened but everyone else probably would have appreciated it.

Probably under a lot of stress and took their feelings out on her

I understand your friends upset, but it's not your fault that you have the hiccups. What a nice friend you've got there...

She just lost her mom. Cut her some slack.

robinhood007 9

And it's common curtesy to leave the room when something like that is happening. People can hear that shes hiccuping, they'd think its more rude to stay then to leave so people can hear the eulogy.

I hate the hiccups. Sometimes they're really painful. Don't worry OP, just apologize to your friend when she's calmer. It's rough what she's going through, anything will upset her at that point.

You should've quietly excused yourself so as not to interrupt. Insensitive bitch.

MissHayleyJames 7

If you're sitting in a pew and have to make 20 people get up so that you can get out, that's much more of a disturbance than hiccuping.

KaelaKhaotic 5
eyecon502 13

Then the OP might have passes out! :p

You'd have to be a pretty stupid person to actually pass out while holding your breath to stop hiccups. Most people know when to start breathing again, even if the hiccups aren't gone yet. Just take a deep breath and start holding your breath again.

It sucks that you had the hiccups but you should have quietly excused yourself and left

you shouldve excused yourself or minimized the sound. but try n be patient with your friend. i doubt they meant to lash out at you like that. their mom just died... expect odd behavior for a little while

Okay you leave and then you get called a bitch for not staying at the funeral

Well, OP, as a fellow frequent hiccupper myself, it's just polite to excuse yourself from the room to go some place private to place your head in between your legs while holding your breath till they are all gone . . . or until you pass out - which ever happens first. Either way, your friend would have thanked you for finally bringing some peace.

Does that method actually work? I tried holding my breath, sugar under my tongue, and drinking a lot of water and NOTHING works.

tylersign 11

This is what you do: Get a glass of water, put your top lip on the side of the glass furthest from you, lean forward, and drink. Instant cure. I promise.

Yea. Or bend over when u swallow. If u can swallow while 'upside down' they'll go away.

Hey, I am in nursing school, so please bare with what I'm about to say, but hiccups are caused by a spasm of the diaphragm because of respiratory alkalosis (breathing too slowly). This pretty much means you're retaining oxygen: the spasms are your bodies attempt to retain more CO2. So when I get hiccups, I breathe into a paper bag; that way I'm breathing in a higher concentration of CO2. . . So, there's my tip of how I get my hiccups to go away! :)

ddeathbombb 5

Umm I hoped you explained to him and trie to be friends with better people

Ops friend just lost their mother its a hard time for him/her, she was just trying to take out some of her anger/sadness, it was wrong to take that out on op but it didn't mean that ops friend was a bad friend/person.

nofearjenshere 12

Try keeping packets of sugar in your purse, and swallow a packet whenever you get the hiccups. Works everytime for me.

15's comment was to OP who is a girl so it was decent advice. And who wouldn't want to carry sugar around? It makes you sweeter.

nofearjenshere 12

OP is a girl. & I do because I frequently get the hiccups.

In this case, OP isn't a dude, so they can easily carry a purse if they wanted to...

Never mind!! Everyone else got to it before me! :)

Petronix 5

Does it really? Learn something new everyday. I don't get them often but when I do they're annoying as hell and tough to get rid of. I shall try this next time.