Today, I witnessed my girlfriend eat the dead skin from the soles of her feet. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Dude, gross
Today, I watched my boyfriend pick all the dead skin off of his feet, and then fling it at me. FML
Today, I watched my husband pick his dead foot skin and say, "That's a keeper!" before putting it in his mouth. FML
Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
We all do it. Don't we?
Today, I saw my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML
Smells like victory
Today, I opened my front door to be greeted by what I can only describe as the stink of death. After moving furniture and lifting floorboards, frantically searching for whatever had died, I finally discovered the actual source of the stench - my girlfriend's feet. FML
Etiquette
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend once again that the dry skin she picks off her feet belong in the trash, not on our coffee table. FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML
Yeet the feet
Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML
Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
Top comments
Badshah29 6
canibalism
jutyjaty 9
dude. new girl
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Comments (690)
ispt3ch 2
I just died a little bit inside...
instnt1nfction 17
you will know be reborn as a beautiful sloth
bonnie_vb8 5
haha i like you:)
jordynwebber 0
sounds fantastic :D
Sprinkle777 0
****'n eeeeew
CockieMonster 0
Well at least you know she's flexible...? YDI, sorry dude
J9DeeZy 4
nobody deserves to see that
enonymous 8
All women eat souls...
nlr 9
no they don't.
Monikabug 9
GIRLS! The men are onto us! Okay now, everyone remain calm - there is no need to worry! As soon as the commercial break is over they will forget all about it again and we can go back to our devious/malicious/manipulative ways. :)
Auntie_Christ 0
they do. I have proof
Siji 0
I feel like there was some word play between soles vs. souls. I laughed if those were your intentions. :)
Siji 0
Woah,after rereading the FML I realized that the word play in question was extremely obvious. I apologize for my lapse in judgement, dear FML community.
alissa222 15
don't you mean "ex" girlfriend? I mean, really, you're keeping her around?
dvdp112 0
I was going to say on the plus side she is flexible.
stuner56 22
I wonder if shes done it before, and if you kissed her after
whiteboy7thst 2
really? I kinda jizzed
manbearpig7173 0
Om nom nom