Today, I went to the drive-through and ordered 5 cheeseburgers. I told the cashier that some of them were for my girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend, and I ate all of them by myself. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I ordered two double cheeseburgers from McDonald's and asked for one of them without pickles so they would think I was ordering for two people. Both burgers were for me. FML
Today, I ordered food for delivery. I actually made it sound as if there were other people at home so I had an excuse for ordering so much. I don't think they bought it. FML
Today, I stopped at a mini-mart and bought a family-size bag of potato chips, a tub of dip, a box of toaster pastries, and some snack cakes. The guy at the counter said, "Wow, someone's hungry!" I told him it wasn't all for me, paid, and left in a huff. It was all for me. I ate it all by that evening. FML
Today, I ordered takeout. When I looked in the bag, I saw they'd included four sets of plastic cutlery. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, then estimated that there must be at least four people eating such a large meal. I was eating alone. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while placing her order. I work as a Drive-Thru cashier at McDonalds. FML
Today, I ordered a large stuffed crust supreme pizza for myself. When I picked it up, I asked for extra plates and napkins so the cashier wouldn't know I don't have any friends. FML
Today, I went through a drive-thru and ordered enough food for three people. The cashier asked if I needed extra napkins “for the group.” I panicked and said, “Yes, for the kids in the back.” There are no kids. Just me, alone, eating like a human trash compactor. FML
Today, I tried to flirt with the cute cashier at my usual drive-thru. Instead of saying, "Thank you," I panicked and said, "I love you." Now I have to find a new favorite burger place. FML
Today, I ordered a plain cheeseburger. The cashier was confused, so I explained, "Just meat and cheese." When I got my food, my burger didn't have a bun. FML
Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML
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Top comments
arhanes 0
why even lie about it. doubt she cared
happyk 0
The cashier might have thought they were for other people anyways. Why would the cashier care? It's none of her/his business.
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Comments (231)
Janeyyy49 0
Haha lmao, that would be a lot to eat for 2 ppl. Hopefully they were small cheeseburgers
frances11111 0
how did you eat 5 ham burgers YDI for being greedy
imhowie 2
Sounds like you have a sad life. She probably didn't believe that someone who is as fat as a person who can eat 5 cheeseburgers would have a girlfriend anyway.
o0Semper0Fi0o 0
god damn! I thought I was fat and I can't eat more than TWO cheeseburgers! :O
XhollyXroseX 0
You made me hungry... :(
floodman360 0
YDI for thinking the cashier gives 2 green ***** about ur life story lol
artisticninja713 13
I think it's sad you felt you had to lie about it. if you're that insecure do something about it.
lookatyou 0
makes me want to go eat 5 cheeseburgers myself.
hedgehogs 0
This is an eating disorder. I know because it takes one to know one. I really have no advice except to recognize the problem. I am slowly unwinding this issue myself, and sadly, it is taking years. Journalwork and other awareness practices help. I am not a big fan of psychotherapy, but maybe if you get the right person, it can work for you. You're in pain, dude. Up to you to decide whether or not you want to change this.
maaack 0
awwww that's soo sad I hare to see people eating by themselves at restaraunts or places it soo sad to gorge yourself and be alone :'( poor guy!!