Today, I went to the drive-through and ordered 5 cheeseburgers. I told the cashier that some of them were for my girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend, and I ate all of them by myself. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I ordered two double cheeseburgers from McDonald's and asked for one of them without pickles so they would think I was ordering for two people. Both burgers were for me. FML
Today, I ordered food for delivery. I actually made it sound as if there were other people at home so I had an excuse for ordering so much. I don't think they bought it. FML
Today, I stopped at a mini-mart and bought a family-size bag of potato chips, a tub of dip, a box of toaster pastries, and some snack cakes. The guy at the counter said, "Wow, someone's hungry!" I told him it wasn't all for me, paid, and left in a huff. It was all for me. I ate it all by that evening. FML
Today, I ordered takeout. When I looked in the bag, I saw they'd included four sets of plastic cutlery. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, then estimated that there must be at least four people eating such a large meal. I was eating alone. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while placing her order. I work as a Drive-Thru cashier at McDonalds. FML
Today, I ordered a large stuffed crust supreme pizza for myself. When I picked it up, I asked for extra plates and napkins so the cashier wouldn't know I don't have any friends. FML
Today, I went through a drive-thru and ordered enough food for three people. The cashier asked if I needed extra napkins “for the group.” I panicked and said, “Yes, for the kids in the back.” There are no kids. Just me, alone, eating like a human trash compactor. FML
Today, I tried to flirt with the cute cashier at my usual drive-thru. Instead of saying, "Thank you," I panicked and said, "I love you." Now I have to find a new favorite burger place. FML
Today, I ordered a plain cheeseburger. The cashier was confused, so I explained, "Just meat and cheese." When I got my food, my burger didn't have a bun. FML
Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML
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Top comments
arhanes 0
why even lie about it. doubt she cared
happyk 0
The cashier might have thought they were for other people anyways. Why would the cashier care? It's none of her/his business.
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Comments (231)
cagedglobe 0
dude you sound really fat like some guy that plays video games all day eating donuts
RadioOctopus 16
lol idiot
moon21_fml 0
eat more fruit and veggies.
lancegonyeau 0
who is the lucky one who gets to wipe your ass
hcovballer247 0
I bet the cashier could care less how many burgers you bought, she just wants your money so that she can earn an income.
alex200256 0
I feel your pain. :( FML.
x3molover 0
I agree with 9.. btw, how can you even eat FIVE cheeseburgers?? I can barely even finish one without feeling like I'm about to puke
sheenakc 0
HaHaHa! what a loser! hahaha! oh my sweet gravy! oooh but seriously, thats, thats just sad.
raininsnow 0
you kinda made it obvious by making an excuse.
AbbyLOVE 0
U should stop eating 5 cheeseburgers if u dnt want 2 get bigger than ur couch ;)
Arosamond 7
This is a lonely FML. ): I agree, your life sucks.