Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with my parents. During a sex scene, my dad covered my eyes. I'm married and have 2 kids. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. He went to get popcorn and I went to the bathroom. Thinking he had got back before me, I sat down next to him in the theater. I leaned in to kiss him, then realized it was some 70-year-oldish woman. FML
Today, at dinner, I was talking to my parents about a movie quote. I couldn't remember what movie it was from. Then I remembered. It was a porno. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents. It got to an intense sex scene. I felt grateful when I saw his father reaching for the remote to fastforward past the scene. He put it into slowmotion. We watched in silence for about 3 minutes before he managed to fix it. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with 4 friends. I didn't realize that I was the only one who didn't have a date. The theater row had just enough room for everyone but me, I got to sit in back of everyone else while they were making out in front of me for 2 hours. FML
Today, I went to a theater and saw "Bruno" with my mom. We saw "Borat" together, so I thought, 'Hey, how bad could it be?' I don't know what was more nauseating: Bruno's penis spinning around and talking or the fact that my mom thought it was hilarious and couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
Today, I went to the midnight premiere of Angels and Demons. A hobo wandered into the theater and sat down behind me. I paid $10 to spend two and a half hours listening to a crazy man talk to himself and kick my chair while he loudly masturbated. FML
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Top comments
JManHobbs 0
If you think that qualifies as **** you obviously aren't a regular Internet user...
xFalzz 0
Thats why you should research movies before seeing them.
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Comments (219)
jjrebel26 0
ydi for helping the guy jackoff in front of your parents
chanta24 10
see I was going to see that, but didn't for that exact reason. :// I saw vampires suck and burlesque with my dad :((
bobh_fml 0
if you think Black Swan is **** then you need to seriously re-evaluate your life.
CandidateForWax 0
You're an idiot. Having one lesbian sex scene that is relevant to the plotline does not make a movie a porno.
some1azn 0
they only made out like 2-3 times? And Natalie Portman had one 'fun' scene alone. Wasn't 'basically a porno' dude. Ō____Ō
ajinfamous 0
It was me did you check your hair?
jakiwi 0
Didn't you see the trailer...?
carical 0
my family and i went to this circus and like 5 of the acts were almost-naked women 'pole dancing'. it was awkward cause my lil sister kept on asking why they weren't wearing clothes :/
Eveylon 0
Its not a Porno, first of you dont actually see anything, she has a bra on, and the never pans down far enough to acutally see what the character Lilly is doing to Nina from a wide shot so nothing is shown, its implied if you actually paid attention to the film you probably would of gotten the symbolism, themes and issues behind the film, and the one 'lesbian scene' just added to that. The film is about Nina finding and dealing with her problems, with her obsession of perfection with her art and discovering her sexuality and darker side. Pretty deep issues for a Porno :P
StJimmy117 0
That movie was such a mind ****!