By J.O.S - 21/03/2012 21:06 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I was stabbed in the chest. Not with a knife though, the under-wire from my bra escaped and stabbed me in the boob. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 594
You deserved it 3 333

Same thing different taste

Top comments

lilikawaii 6

I hate when that happens! >:| bras are such evil torture devices. Ugh. It's too bad we have to wear them outside the comfort of home, op. :(

We men, on the other hand, must live in constant fear of the metal-toothed beast known as the Zipper. It has been known to cleave a gentleman's wedding tackle in twain!


lilikawaii 6

I hate when that happens! >:| bras are such evil torture devices. Ugh. It's too bad we have to wear them outside the comfort of home, op. :(

We men, on the other hand, must live in constant fear of the metal-toothed beast known as the Zipper. It has been known to cleave a gentleman's wedding tackle in twain!

lilikawaii 6

There's Something About Mary style Haha I can only imagine the excruciating pain and terror. Is it wrong of me to smile at the thought? Heehee :]

Theres that painful moment when your pubes get caught in the zipper...

That's why you trim lol or go hairless like those expensive cats

I hate when it gets stuck in the evil zipper or really hurts!

Well... Noone says you HAVE to wear the bra...

If I recall correctly, there is an FML about a woman's beef curtains getting stuck in her zipper.

I honestly don't know how that would happen, zippers are up front and our "meat curtains" are down below.

I don't want to know... All sorts of wrong pictures go through my mind :s

jackeechan 10
Maddidaddi 0

I've had that happen :/ But I was slightly low on money so I had to use it for 5 months.

You know if you want I can always check that thing out for you. Wouldn't want an infection...

SailorSolaris 43

Who says we have to? I never do. I'm also claustrophobic, so bras cause claustrophobia/panic attacks for me.

You could always, you know, buy a new one?

MerrikBarbarian 9

You can... But it doesn't stop the one you are actively wearing from deciding to break and stab you

fleeper 13

Yeah, but you can't buy a new boob...

MerrikBarbarian 9

They usually make you buy a pair of those, not just one ;)

. . . or duct tape. Duct tape can fix practically anything.

TheFinalWub 3

no, that would be completely insane

MerrikBarbarian 9

Which would be insane? Duct tape or buying a new boob? Or the fact you have to buy two? I'm personally offended by the latter. I mean if you only need one boob what are you going to do with the extra? Throw it at someone's head? Oh hey I answered my own question! ;)

I doubt she knew it would break at the time.

MerrikBarbarian 9

I feel your pain OP. my bras do that too sometimes. Oh how I miss the days I could freeboob...

Guys dont mind if girls free boob they love it

MerrikBarbarian 9

True, but the boobs don't love the freeboobing anymore. Once you hit a c cup it gets quite painful to freeboob. Imagine having balls the size of grapefruits, then jumping around without supporting them :p

That is best way ever to explain how it feels. XD

MerrikBarbarian 9

What on earth would you store a knife in your boobs? That just seems a terrible idea!

I can imagine in some twisted alternative reality, they make a version of a bra designed to support my nuts.

Why can't you free boob? Bras were devised to make you look younger so you would appeal to men. If you still care to "catch a man" wear them. If you wish to be independent, don't. The alternative is to wear bras that we of the ample persuasion must wear. They have no metal in them. Underwire pierces through on me in about 45 minutes. Pennyrich makes exceedingly well structured bras although I haven't looked for them since I went off their scale and started making my own. Another possibility is that you are wearing the wrong size bra. Go to a specialized store and have it professionally done. It'll make all the difference. Underwire or not, most women think they know how to size themselves. They don't. A bra is the most complex garment made for the human body and it requires as much care in fit as an expensive tux or a wedding dress. My size: 42JJ

They did it in South Park, ask Randy. And chicks love it. Looove it, I tell you.

MerrikBarbarian 9

150- read my reply to the first comment. I live a very active life and it doesn't meh well with going braless at my chest size. I wear a bra for support. As for under wire or not.., I live in a small town, miles from a city. Finding bras without underwire period is a challenge... Especially at my size. Oh and I have no desire to attract a man at all- I'm a lesbian ;) And to whoever commented about the ball support... There actually IS such a thing. It's a bit of a gag product, but I do believe it works. Also I think some fetish shops carry more serious ones. The more you know!!!

Those were the days when you didnt have boons

cryssycakesx3 22

now I read this somewhere, so these are not my own thoughts or opinions. so when you have a cast on your arm the muscles begin to atrophy. well there are ligaments and whathaveyou in your chest to keep you boobs perky and such. and wearing a bra atrophies those ligaments,ect, much like a cast. sure there's gravity and things. but like I said I, read it, I don't know how true it is,if at all, so please don't pick me apart for it. just wanted to relay my readings.

beccaishereyay 11

Oh no... Your life is so hard.

One day bras will be made from a soft, clear, flexible plastic, and so will shirts. I await those days.

MerrikBarbarian 9

Or one could just go topless? If everything is clear, where is the point in wearing anything?

Well, not all the time, ofc. There is such a thing as good weather

MerrikBarbarian 9

Heat is actually a great reason to go topless! Little dirt or rain never hurt anyone. Colds about the only good reason besides public decency laws to wear clothes. Also clear plastic clothes as suggested won't protect you from cold, uv rays (actually it would magnify those), or anything really damaging... So my point stands. ;)

Fair point, seeing as naturally we aren't meant to wear clothing to begin with.

Hey, that happened to me today as well and I called my bra a '****' for doing so.

Worst feeling ever... Especially when it pokes through your shirt and all your male only work mates see it..

I have nothing against women free-boobing, as a matter of fact, I encourage it :)

Ya I would like to do that but it hurts when they bounce too much. Thus forcing us to wear bras, which will eventually betray you and stab you in the boob. It's a lose lose situation especially if you're a C cup and above (the occasional B cups also).

I've found that if I want to free-boob, as long as I wear a supportive cami I don't bounce uncomfortably. Although the stairs are a bit jiggly -.-

Birdie_Sage 0

Someone really needs to reinvent the bra so it supports bigger boobs without uncomfortable bits of metal.

alstbv12 13

1. I'm sleep deprived 2. My boobs are small enough to support themselves 3. You are not a bra

alstbv12 13

Hey whoa. No need to be hurtful. I was just trying to lend a helping hand...or two.

12 - Try the Ahhhhh, bra! For only $19.99! Also, before that there were these beautiful people called sculptresses that worked wonders to shape and molds those curves. Not many around nowadays, but are definitely worth the extra pennies if you find one.

Don't get an ahhh bra, I got one, and it's like not wearing one at all. Literally. It's useless. I reckon I could do better...

It's called the sports bra ;) Lol if only all shirts would encourage the use of them

#20 Don't worry, I am a professional.