Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with my parents. During a sex scene, my dad covered my eyes. I'm married and have 2 kids. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. He went to get popcorn and I went to the bathroom. Thinking he had got back before me, I sat down next to him in the theater. I leaned in to kiss him, then realized it was some 70-year-oldish woman. FML
Today, at dinner, I was talking to my parents about a movie quote. I couldn't remember what movie it was from. Then I remembered. It was a porno. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents. It got to an intense sex scene. I felt grateful when I saw his father reaching for the remote to fastforward past the scene. He put it into slowmotion. We watched in silence for about 3 minutes before he managed to fix it. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with 4 friends. I didn't realize that I was the only one who didn't have a date. The theater row had just enough room for everyone but me, I got to sit in back of everyone else while they were making out in front of me for 2 hours. FML
Today, I went to a theater and saw "Bruno" with my mom. We saw "Borat" together, so I thought, 'Hey, how bad could it be?' I don't know what was more nauseating: Bruno's penis spinning around and talking or the fact that my mom thought it was hilarious and couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
Today, I went to the midnight premiere of Angels and Demons. A hobo wandered into the theater and sat down behind me. I paid $10 to spend two and a half hours listening to a crazy man talk to himself and kick my chair while he loudly masturbated. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
JManHobbs 0
If you think that qualifies as **** you obviously aren't a regular Internet user...
xFalzz 0
Thats why you should research movies before seeing them.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (219)
Stravagante 0
Obviously you've never actually seen a porno if this is your idea of ****.
thebatboy 4
this is an FML why?????
Emperorerror 8
I LOVE how everyone's making fun of OP for not knowing exactly what a porno is like. I mean, seriously, lmao. Everyone's like, "Dude, I know a lot more about **** than you, I jack off every night. Leave the **** references to cool guys like me." LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.
katherineisrawr 0
haha I saw it with my dad... it was awkward. I seriously had no clue what the movie was about.
Megg5 2
I saw that with my mom. Only she was the one in the theater making masturbating sounds and laughing.
alittleroisin 10
Wait, was Black Swan rated R in America? It was only MA15+ in Australia (I didn't see it at the cinema though, watched it when a bunch of friends came over). Anyway, the scene was not that awkward. I actually analysed Black Swan for my English assessment, it's a good film (I'm 15 and in Year 10, by the way).
Ugi 27
What constitutes a porno varies dramatically depending upon whether you are watching it with your parents or not. Apparently my uncle used to watch (16 mm actual film) **** with his dad (my grandfather). I find this thought rather disturbing.
angryreimu 0
Did you hear fap?
Taydean 1
haha I has the same thing happen to me but then my dad asked me if I had lesbian wet dreams:/
EmilyFelton98 0
poor you...