Today, I went to my local Walmart to grab a few groceries, and while at the checkout line I grabbed two chocolate bars for a snack. The cashier gave me a look and mumbled under her breath, "Surprise, surprise." I'm pregnant, asshole. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was grocery shopping. When I turned around I noticed a group of teens passing by laughing. I didn't think anything of it until I got to my cart. The losers had left a pack of Slim Fast in my cart. I'm pregnant. FML
Today, a stranger at the grocery store rubbed my belly and asked me when I'm due. I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I went to a corner store to restock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML
Today, as I was getting my mail, I noticed I'd received a free coupon from a baby supply store, saying, "Congratulations on your pregnancy!" Thinking it was a mistake, I showed my girlfriend, who I live with. All she had to say was, "Surprise!" FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, feeling good about myself, until when I was waiting in line at the checkout, a small kid in his mother's arms in front turned to look straight at me and said, "Ewwwww." FML
Today, at the grocery store, I saw a woman rubbing her belly lovingly and said, “Aw, congratulations!” She replied, “On what?” There was no baby. Just bread. FML
Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life." I'm 26 and just very short. FML
Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML
Today, I went to Walmart to purchase a pregnancy test. I chose my checkout line carefully, to make sure I didn't see anyone I knew. After choosing one, I realized it was 4 o'clock on the dot. Shift change. My mom's best friend took over the shift just as I reached the checkout. FML
Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year-old man with a beer belly. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Sarkany_fml 2
Your life doesn't suck. HER life sucks, on account of her being a total bitch.
MURIKKA 11
I don't think that cashier realizes just how close she was to being killed on the spot.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (179)
tiberius1 1
im not sure what being pregnant has to do with it. does the baby need chocolate for nutritional reasons? Or is that your excuse for being obese?
DoxIxHAVExTo 10
She's pregnant. When you're pregnant, you grow a stomach. The cashier thought she was fat and insulted her under their breath. Her being pregnant isn't an "excuse" to eat chocolate. It's not an excuse at all. She's just offended that someone assumed she was unhealthy by how she looked.
avaeba 14
Chocolate has nothing to do with it, other than that the cashier used that as an excuse to comment. I'm 34 weeks and the same thing happened to me the other day- I was bending to reach something and some asshat had the nerve to tell me I'd have less trouble if I lost some weight. I'm not obese- my OB says my weight is right on target for where I'm at in my pregnancy. Some people will use anything as an excuse to make rude remarks
brittanyrmh_ 12
**** HER life. Congrats on your pregnancy, OP. (: Indulge on as much sweets as you like, you're allowed!
TrinityisLife 22
Ok, I'm sick of the "It's Walmart" or "She's working at Walmart" crap posted. It's a job. It pays the bills. In a lot of areas, it's one of the better jobs to have as there's benefits and they don't start at minimum wage. That being said, OP, you can call 1-800-WALMART and make a complaint over the phone. The cashier's operator number is on the receipt, so even if you don't remember the cashier's name, they can use that number to know exactly who offended you. Home Office will email the complaint to the store manager and it'll be handled from there. I am truly sorry that one of our associated offended you and I do hope you make the phone call. As a side note from a fat chick -- people need to quit assuming that just because you're fat and buying something like a candy bar that you're being unhealthy. How do you know that person isn't on medications that force weight gain but save their life OR they just lost 20 pounds and that was their reward until the next 20 drop? Shame on you lot.
mowmowlife 21
LOL, she's already paying for it with her low quality of life. Sorry OP
Hellbound_Alleee 14
Take a little piece of paper, and write "'Confirmation Bias.' Google it." Then go back to that store and give it to the girl.
zionjuggernext 3
You should have went crazy on her
mes316 5
If you ever see her again you should punch her in her gut
TcheQ 12
DAFUQ Report the cashier to the manager. That's just wrong to insult customers like that, Warren Buffet would break their face open on the sidewalk.
Veldan 1
Why do all you idiots think she was saying the lady was fat? She could have been thinking "Pregnant lady grabs two chocolate bars... surprise surprise" Still not the best register manner but hey, you pay her to bag your groceries not to make you feel good about yourself.
K8awsomness 4
Whos the one working at walmart... No you