Today, I went to my local Walmart to grab a few groceries, and while at the checkout line I grabbed two chocolate bars for a snack. The cashier gave me a look and mumbled under her breath, "Surprise, surprise." I'm pregnant, asshole. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was grocery shopping. When I turned around I noticed a group of teens passing by laughing. I didn't think anything of it until I got to my cart. The losers had left a pack of Slim Fast in my cart. I'm pregnant. FML
Today, a stranger at the grocery store rubbed my belly and asked me when I'm due. I'm not pregnant. FML
Presumption
Today, I went to a corner store to restock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML
No warning
Today, as I was getting my mail, I noticed I'd received a free coupon from a baby supply store, saying, "Congratulations on your pregnancy!" Thinking it was a mistake, I showed my girlfriend, who I live with. All she had to say was, "Surprise!" FML
External validation
Today, I was grocery shopping, feeling good about myself, until when I was waiting in line at the checkout, a small kid in his mother's arms in front turned to look straight at me and said, "Ewwwww." FML
Stolen valor
Today, at the grocery store, I saw a woman rubbing her belly lovingly and said, “Aw, congratulations!” She replied, “On what?” There was no baby. Just bread. FML
People of Walmart
Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life." I'm 26 and just very short. FML
Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML
Checked out
Today, I went to Walmart to purchase a pregnancy test. I chose my checkout line carefully, to make sure I didn't see anyone I knew. After choosing one, I realized it was 4 o'clock on the dot. Shift change. My mom's best friend took over the shift just as I reached the checkout. FML
Delusional
Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year-old man with a beer belly. FML
Top comments
Sarkany_fml 2
Your life doesn't suck. HER life sucks, on account of her being a total bitch.
MURIKKA 11
I don't think that cashier realizes just how close she was to being killed on the spot.
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Comments (179)
joethebiden 8
Next time, just summon the manager and tell him that the employee was coming on to you. When the employee, out of shock, replies in disgust that no, she was just implying you were fat, she'll get fired on the spot. And then you get the last laugh.
MMcspifter 2
I agree the cashier was out of line. Congrats on the baby! But remember chocolate isn't the greatest thing for the baby, fruit is fabulous!
yentlben 2
Honey, she works at Walmart, of course she's a judgmental bitch. She works in retail hell, for the biggest conglomerate, known for hiring the dregs of society and treating them poorly.
kiwienne 21
People with no respect for others shouldn't be allowed a job where they face customers..
stormchaser24 24
You got rude service at Walmart! FML.
DelphiCat 17
Being pregnant doesn't suddenly mean you're allowed to eat TWO chocolate bars as a 'snack'. Fat content aside, there is nothing healthy about doing that. Have one chocolate bar and some fruit, for the love of god woman, have some self respect.
toelie 26
As long as you're healthy, weightwise and other, you are allowed to eat whatever the hell you want, especially if you're pregnant.
sicksadworld1317 30
When the majority of people buy groceries, they often stock up for the next 1-2 weeks. No one said she'd be eating both candy bars back to back. Frankly, for normal and otherwise healthy people it's no big deal to eat two candy bars in one sitting anyhow, once in a while. So long as treating oneself with food isn't a habit, I find it more disrespectful to oneself to be deprived of yumminess due to societies' asinine opinions :)
the_golden_one 6
Chocolate makes women happy it could make the fetus happy :)
DelphiCat 17
Actually, the wording makes it perfectly clear this was for one event 'for a snack' not 'as snacks', whilst the very fact she said 'snack' not 'treat' or some other variation suggests that this is not a particularly rare event. A candy bar is NEVER a snack, and i'm sick of fatass people complaining they're fat whilst using lines like 'oh, it's just a little snack'. Meanwhile, using pregnancy as an excuse just means you'll either get excessively fat over the nine months and struggle to lose the weight, or you'll get so used to eating that much shit that you'll get fat after the baby is born. There is nothing wrong with treating yourself but 'grabbing a couple of candy bars for a snack' does not sound like a rare occurrence, it sounds like 'fatty fatty boom boom'
mimilove01 3
If I were pregnant I would have raised all sorts of hell, just because it's Walmart.
Sheh_fml 25
Being pregnant does not dramatically alter your need for calories. Nor does it justify "eating for two" or living of crap. You need more nutrient, which chocolate will not provide. What you eat during pregnancy deeply effects the child your carrying, for example, the child of a mother who gains excessive weight during pregnancy has a higher risk of childhood obesity. The cashier was bitchy, yes, but if you believe two chocolate bars is a fitting snack, you need a wake-up-call. Even one bar is far to much calories for a snack, and utterly useless from a nutritious point of view. Chocolate is a dessert, not a snack.
beegee11 4
How about the fact that the cashier had no idea this was a snack. OP never said she told the cashier 'oh ill Just grab these snickers as a light snack...' The chocolate bars could have been one for her one for her husband, hell they could have been for ANYBODY. So a cashier making snarky remarks is totally unacceptable.
alyssamorgan 1
How about the fact that more nutrients means you would need to consume more calories. And I'm sure you don't understand pregnancy cravings. Or anything for that matter judging by your grammar
charvisioku 22
Chocolate can be a dessert OR a snack. Who are you to lecture a stranger on nutrition? Oh and as someone before me has said: CRAVINGS. You're an idiot.
Sheh_fml 25
That is obviously true. And yes, the cashier was bitchy for commenting at all. My comment was however a bit universal regarding pregnancy eating habits, and not only and directly meant for the OP.
Sheh_fml 25
You would not need to eat that much more calories to gain nutrients. You only need to eat right. Perhaps I don't understand cravings seeing as I was raised with some self control, and I am intelligent enough to see that "I crave this" is not an acceptable excuse to live of crap. Yes, a person might very well eat a bit of what they crave, but the fact that two chocolate bars a day is an unhealthy habit still stands. Also, attacking ones grammar is generally the last resort one uses when they run out of real arguments. Which you have demonstrates beautifully. And judging my intelligence or knowledge of the world by my grammatical errors is nothing but immature. How many languages do you speak fluently and utterly perfect? English is not my native tongue, so personally I find my skills regarding the language quite satisfying.
avaeba 14
You're awfully quick to judge-you don't know whether or not she's overweight, what her regular eating habits are, or even who she was buying them for. I don't know if you're a female or if you've ever been pregnant, but pregnancy cravings are a lot stronger than normal "I'm in the mood for___." No, it's not an excuse to overindulge, but a little chocolate every now and then isn't exactly going to tip the scales. Shame on you for jumping to conclusions.
balletteacher 11
I hope you told her that; and loudly so that everyone else could hear too. She needs to be taught a lesson. Congrats on the baby btw!
NorthernGrizzMN 0
First mistake was shopping at Walmart.