Today, I went to my local Walmart to grab a few groceries, and while at the checkout line I grabbed two chocolate bars for a snack. The cashier gave me a look and mumbled under her breath, "Surprise, surprise." I'm pregnant, asshole. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was grocery shopping. When I turned around I noticed a group of teens passing by laughing. I didn't think anything of it until I got to my cart. The losers had left a pack of Slim Fast in my cart. I'm pregnant. FML
Today, a stranger at the grocery store rubbed my belly and asked me when I'm due. I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I went to a corner store to restock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML
Today, as I was getting my mail, I noticed I'd received a free coupon from a baby supply store, saying, "Congratulations on your pregnancy!" Thinking it was a mistake, I showed my girlfriend, who I live with. All she had to say was, "Surprise!" FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, feeling good about myself, until when I was waiting in line at the checkout, a small kid in his mother's arms in front turned to look straight at me and said, "Ewwwww." FML
Today, at the grocery store, I saw a woman rubbing her belly lovingly and said, “Aw, congratulations!” She replied, “On what?” There was no baby. Just bread. FML
Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life." I'm 26 and just very short. FML
Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML
Today, I went to Walmart to purchase a pregnancy test. I chose my checkout line carefully, to make sure I didn't see anyone I knew. After choosing one, I realized it was 4 o'clock on the dot. Shift change. My mom's best friend took over the shift just as I reached the checkout. FML
Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year-old man with a beer belly. FML
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Top comments
Sarkany_fml 2
Your life doesn't suck. HER life sucks, on account of her being a total bitch.
MURIKKA 11
I don't think that cashier realizes just how close she was to being killed on the spot.
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Comments (179)
actnjakson3000 0
Still no excuse to get fat. Had a teacher that had a healthy baby and only gained 20 lbs
angel55033 12
Eating healthy for the baby VS x2 candy cars? The sarcastic surprise has truth to it being pregnant isn't an excuse to eat junk food. At the same time the cashier had no right but how do you know that's what she said if she mumbled it or even if it was about you? Too many people pop out babies live off welfare and food support and buy junk food. Maybe that was the case and you're one of the thousands living off tax payers? Never get the whole story I'm sure there's more to this sorry.
Keoaratr 9
Maybe the cashier saw you were pregnant and knows pregnant women crave chocolate and that's why it was not a surprise.
dreadbeat69 12
Pregnancy is an excuse to do anything you want! Eating badly? Pregnant! Drinking and driving? Pregnant! Murder? PREGNANT! Bun in the oven or not, you still bought not one, but two bars of pure sugar and junk and you're mad that it looks bad. Get over it.
Envy17 3
Let me guess, you're a guy. You have NO idea what it's like being pregnant! Don't judge the OP because of her cravings. Also, your arguments are logically and conceptually wrong. Shut the **** up, asshole. Get over it.
at0micmin3r 23
You may be pregnant, but that doesn't mean THE REST OF THE WORLD is supposed to suddenly become telepathic and know too. Get over yourself.
doglover100 29
You should've said that.
Icemelts 2
I hear all these stories about snarky Walmart cashiers, and I have no idea how they get away with it! I work at a drugstore and if I ever acted like that to a customer I would get my ass fired so fast! It doesn't matter what you're buying, they don't have the right to make comments.
just_someguy 6
made my day
claudia19801811 14
FHL congrats on the baby though!
ekim300 26
Cashiers who openly judge and criticize people based on what they buy have a special place in hell reserved for them.