Today, I went to my local Walmart to grab a few groceries, and while at the checkout line I grabbed two chocolate bars for a snack. The cashier gave me a look and mumbled under her breath, "Surprise, surprise." I'm pregnant, asshole. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was grocery shopping. When I turned around I noticed a group of teens passing by laughing. I didn't think anything of it until I got to my cart. The losers had left a pack of Slim Fast in my cart. I'm pregnant. FML
Today, a stranger at the grocery store rubbed my belly and asked me when I'm due. I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I went to a corner store to restock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML
Today, as I was getting my mail, I noticed I'd received a free coupon from a baby supply store, saying, "Congratulations on your pregnancy!" Thinking it was a mistake, I showed my girlfriend, who I live with. All she had to say was, "Surprise!" FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, feeling good about myself, until when I was waiting in line at the checkout, a small kid in his mother's arms in front turned to look straight at me and said, "Ewwwww." FML
Today, at the grocery store, I saw a woman rubbing her belly lovingly and said, “Aw, congratulations!” She replied, “On what?” There was no baby. Just bread. FML
Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life." I'm 26 and just very short. FML
Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML
Today, I went to Walmart to purchase a pregnancy test. I chose my checkout line carefully, to make sure I didn't see anyone I knew. After choosing one, I realized it was 4 o'clock on the dot. Shift change. My mom's best friend took over the shift just as I reached the checkout. FML
Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year-old man with a beer belly. FML
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Top comments
Sarkany_fml 2
Your life doesn't suck. HER life sucks, on account of her being a total bitch.
MURIKKA 11
I don't think that cashier realizes just how close she was to being killed on the spot.
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Comments (179)
Enslaved 38
What? Two candy bars doesn't seem like that big of a deal. Maybe you're misreading the cashier and a little oversensitive because of your pregnancy. I doubt the cashier gives a damn what you're buying.
laurenlovesjb 20
I hate how people insult others with larger stomachs, because you never know, even if they're not pregnant.
jazzmancarron 11
i hope you actually said that to her word for word.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
You should have said it out loud, and went to another cashier.
UnleashedKilla1 4
You should of said, "Bitch look at you! You work at WalMart!"
SAgirl 24
Hope you told him that.
jamza 10
Take a lesson from the Subway Chick and punch the ****** in the face
CuriousAlien 7
I bet you after, that she probably grabbed three chocolate bars to take home!
PhishloverA 14
Complain to the manager and get her fired, then we'll see whose life sucks
IPoopedOnU 12
You should have said "oh yah and I need to grab some pampers to stock up before this thing comes out!"