Today, I went to get a tattoo. I decided on getting my four month daughter's name tattooed on my upper arm. I went home to show my wife. She broke down and told me that I'm most likely not the father. It's a toss-up between her co-worker, the guy who does our lawn, several strangers and me. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I got a tattoo with my boyfriend's name on it. As we're coworkers, I showed it to him thinking he’d love it. He told me he couldn’t continue the relationship anymore since he realized he wants to fix things with his wife. Three hours of pain and 2 years down the drain. FML
Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a "talk." So now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML
Today, I found out that my wife is leaving me for a tattoo artist. I was in rehab and she met him getting a tattoo as a surprise for me. FML
Today, my dad found out I got a tattoo behind his back and is really really upset. When I got home from work my car wasn't in the driveway. When I asked my dad where it was, he replied "you'll get it back when your tattoo comes off." FML
Today, I finally met my daughter's boyfriend. He has a face tattoo. FML
Today, I realized my husband and I have been fighting a lot lately, so to show him how much I care, I got a tattoo with his name on it. He hates it. FML
Today, my girlfriend got a new tattoo - the Blink-182 logo on her stomach. I wouldn't mind it, except she got pregnant a month ago and I'm pretty sure that it can't good for the baby. FML
Today, I decided I was going to dump my needy girlfriend. I was about to break the news when she stopped me. She showed me her new tattoo she had gotten. Our names, surrounded by a love heart spread across her back. She reckons I should get a matching one. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for the tattoo artist who gave us our matching "love" tattoos. FML
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Top comments
yake12 0
wow! normally I would say ydi for getting a name tattoo but kids are different!! well someone else may be the father but if you raise her properly you can be her dad
hellokimmiee 5
ouch, that hurts
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Comments (255)
schalk 12
I'm going to quote the comedian Daniel Tosh : If you want a tattoo just get the words "I'm Dumb". That way, 20 years from now you'll be like "why'd I get a tattoo?", then look down and think "oh yeah, right"
ilovepandaz 2
your wife is a major ****
dantheman31297 0
wow she is the biggest bitch ever!!! what a *****
duke6wr 0
EPIC BIATCH!!! one in 6 or 7 chance it's yours huh? put the ***** on the curb n get the child yours or not
hashoahxxx 0
dude that's so bad it breaks my heart
BikeAllDay818 6
what a ******* *****, I say you leave that bitch!
keven305 0
dude, you have a ***** of a wife. hope the childs yours.
somebodyshy 0
She's still your daughter. I sympathize with the awful feeling about your wife, but your little girl still needs a dad. I hate when guys leave because they're not the father. Leaves the child in a terrible situation. Be there for her. But as far as your wife... DTMFA!
Timmy_Boy 17
for all op knows he isn't the father, and if he isn't the father why should he stay, to look after and provide for an unfaithful wife and a bastard child, if the child isn't his then op should be out of there just my opinion
Mikki4321 0
Because some people actually have the ability to love. And he obviously loves hiss daughter, who is still his daughter, no matter what DNA says. He has been there from her birth to now (which isn't very long, but still), and he has been faithful to her mother (who wasn't to him) which gives him more right to be a parent to his daughter than her mother, the lawnmower or any other ******* guy who is such an ass as to **** someone else's wife.
alekolu 1
Um... DNA test, dude.
fuckthisshit91 0
So sorry to hear that.