Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, even though I made the point of tanning naked, I still got tan lines thanks to my fat rolls. FML
Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML
Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML
Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML
Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML
Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML
Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML
Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML
Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML
Today, my girlfriend talked me into tanning in a tanning bed for the first time ever. I have never tanned before and didn't know you are supposed to ease into it. I tanned for 15 minutes in the "super bed" and have lobstered. My ass and nuts got the worst of it. FML
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Top comments
schwancy 2
obviously the spray has to come in contact with every inch of your skin or it won't "tan" that area....
Freeze_fml 16
People like you are the reason we have warning labels on coffee cups.
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Comments (354)
Nightwolf19 0
gotta agree with FFML if she wants a damn tan then she has the right to get a damn tan. nae nae stfu just because your probably anorexic.
ayychihuahua 0
haha <3
amandalovesyou 0
haha no you don't look anorexic, you look active and healthy. if that's really you and that picture didn't get pulled from photobucket =D
amandalovesyou 0
lmao =D that makes about two of us on FML then. and you should be comfortable, you're very pretty.
Sanura 0
... it's "you're"
mebecatie 0
lol win lmfao btw I love zebras!! :D lol
apriljoyo 0
isn't that obvious? The spray isn't able to get under them on its own!
PaintTheStars 2
Well since the OP is orange wouldn't the OP be a tiger with stripes?
leggomyeggo12 2
its funny cuz your fat lol
starsbAby 2
Today, 2 stupid girls argued through comments on an fml I had posted the day before, they argued about if I should even care about the way I look since I'm fat.FML
amandalovesyou 0
Idk if this is in reference to me, but I'm pretty damn far from stupid
SeanFredrick 3
hahahahhahahaha fatass
ispitflames 3
142 - HAHAHAHA.
starsbAby 2
i'm making fun of two girls that were arguing through the actual OPs point of view dumbass
Brittney_E 0
you had to kill it.
starsbAby 2
147-I'm not talkin about u haha. and 159-love ur username
FFML_314 11
Don't forget me!! :] We can high five now naenae
FFML_314 11
I never doubted that you were a nice person. People can disagree on something, doesn't make them bad. I disagree with my best friend almost daily. She's a shit head though.
ispitflames 3
im pretty sure tigers dont have white stripes....
starsbAby 2
FINALLY
FFML_314 11
Lol, were you getting impatient 170?
Trollz4daLULZ 1
FINALLY... THE ROCK HAS COME BACK TO FML!!! AND ALL OF THE MILLIONS [pause while audience yells "AND MILLIONS!!!!"] OF THE ROCK'S FANS CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HIM LAY THE SMACK DOWN ON ALL THE RUDY-POO CANDY ASSES!!!!