Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML
Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML
Today, I went paint-balling with my girlfriend. As we drove she was scared about getting shot a lot, especially in the head. I reassured her that with all the protective gear it was unlikely. First round, within a minute, she gets shot 3 times in the back of the head. FML
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML
Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML
Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML
Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
laden_swallow09 35
Never go paintballin' with the in-laws. NEVER. There are several FMLs exactly like this one that illustrate why.
RhineBl 17
He didn't do it to protect her, he did it to hurt him.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (58)
tantanpanda 26
"An eye for an eye makes the world blind". Well the world won't be blind if you don't take the damn eye in the first place! If OP's dad shot him 4 times in a row, he should be able to take what he dishes.
Dragonskiss 9
Did u really call it paint balling that's like saying snipering like da ***
GingerKittyKat 4
He was just following the rules from "ZombieLand"! Gotta make sure the corpse is dead right? X) hope the bruises weren't to bad!
Candied_person 13
When u realize u got shot in the testise
d3athm3tal 10
sounds like a don't hurt my daughter message
Shade1982 21
Double over in pain? Really? Don't be a wuss :P...
qnmt 9
Double over in pain? Really? It doesn't hurt that much... Unless he hit you in the sack or in the neck...
LyricaSilvan 30
I'm guessing he either doesn't like you, or was testing you.
duma191 21
#14 on that note, paintball uses a hopper.
Joshnona 14
Should have said "double taking l tapping is important, that's why I double tap your daughter every time"