Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML
Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML
Today, I went paint-balling with my girlfriend. As we drove she was scared about getting shot a lot, especially in the head. I reassured her that with all the protective gear it was unlikely. First round, within a minute, she gets shot 3 times in the back of the head. FML
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML
Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML
Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML
Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML
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Top comments
laden_swallow09 35
Never go paintballin' with the in-laws. NEVER. There are several FMLs exactly like this one that illustrate why.
RhineBl 17
He didn't do it to protect her, he did it to hurt him.
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Comments (58)
Jasim 17
Sounds like you found a keeper.
Armygirl93 10
her father sounds like fun
iann32 10
just to be a smart ass, it would be call a hopper because it is a paintball gun
aylind 18
Ha! He sounds great. Be thankful your girlfriend's family is so fun OP.
Faunathan 0
That's the dad being a dick because you showed weakness on the field. You've got to play into those age old stereotypes about male machismo. All political correctness aside you disappointed the father of the girl you might have to defend/protect. Ya blew it, bud.
logicrules 11
Seems like he was testing you. You should have laughed and emptied your rounds into his balls.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Double-tap his daughter when you get home. Cause that's probably what he's really annoyed about.
countryb_cth 38
Or even better, quadruple-tap the daughter.
tantanpanda 26
if he has the balls to do that in one night.
Just_A_Tree 20
You tell Gandhi that that as long as he got his face mask on his eyesight will live. Unload on the asshole.
vikky538 29
now you know the number of times you have to hard hump your girl friend..just keep in mind of the number.. quadruple....
everlastingsnow_fml 14
should have shot him back. these types of dads respect a guy who stands up for himself and doesnt let himself walked on all over.