Today, I went out and made build-a-bears that looked like my daughter and her new boyfriend. It turns out she had been insisting that I didn't for a good reason; upon sight of his, her boyfriend screamed and fled the house. Turns out he was nearly mauled to death by a bear. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my coworker convinced a little girl that teddy bears are actually the bodies of dead baby bears. I work at Build-a-Bear-Workshop, and we were working a 4-year-old's birthday party. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought me a voice personalized Build-a-Bear. I thought he was going to propose to me through it, only to press the foot of the bear and hear, "We should break up" instead. FML
Today, my 4-year-old daughter couldn't sleep, crying that her teddy bear wanted to eat her. My husband thought it would be funny to put the bear right in front of her face while she slept. She's now terrified to sleep anywhere but in our bed. FML
Today, I was forced to go to the mall with my dad. He wore a bear suit the entire time. FML
Today, I got mugged by someone wearing a bear suit. FML
Today, I was pretending to be an angry bear while babysitting a 3 year-old boy, and an 19 month-old girl. I was chasing them around the house, having a great time. Just when I bent over to pick up his sister for a diaper change, the 3 year-old decided it was his turn. He bit me square on the ass. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to get out of the shower. Bored, I sent my friend a picture of myself pretending to make out with his bear rug. After the photo shoot, I looked in the doorway to find his dad staring at me. FML
Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and another couple. We saw a black bear. I shrieked and peed, while the other guy stepped forward and yelled, "Get outta here!" To my surprise, it ran away. My girlfriend is so ashamed of me that she's refusing to share a tent. I'm sleeping in my truck bed. FML
Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML
Today, my daughter's boyfriend came to the house to pick her up. As a responsible father, I had an evil plan to torture the boy who dares date my girl, but my wife preempted my plan so during his short visit, she stood behind me the whole time with her taser down my buttcrack in case I acted up. FML
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Top comments
unknown_user5566 27
Why would you continue with a gift idea when someone is telling you not to? Granted, you could not have known the bear mauling bit. However, you seem like one of those annoying gift givers that buy things according to what YOU think a person should have.
nothing92x 13
I'm guessing OP couldn't bear the thought of not making the Teddy for both of them.
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Comments (144)
chouter21 10
You should declare who your protagonists are... I have no idea what this FML is about and I'm too lazy to try to figure it out.
TahoeFMler 22
So hopefully today you relearned (from kindergarten) to be a good listener. Definitely not an FML. Also, if your daughter is old enough for a boyfriend, why would you think she even wants teddy bears???
TahoeFMler 22
Wow! So anyway, I said, hope OP remembers kindergarten and puts on her listening ears... And if the daughter is old enough for a boyfriend, would she really even want a teddy bear?
TahoeFMler 22
Sorry, issues. $1 to anyone who can tell me how to delete this!
Axipiter 24
You can't. Do I still get that dollar?
lakotalife 5
If someone doesn't want a gift, don't get it for them! It's as simple as that. Sorry OP but you deserved that one.
laxman_tim 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
What a ******* pussy it's a stuffed bear he can't handle that?
iiDangerCloseBK 6
You get mauled by a bear and then come back and tell us that again.
Axipiter 24
21 You're an idiot. Don't call people ******* because they've gone through traumatic experiences. I lost part of my calf to a dog, and almost a year later I still have trouble with some dogs. Does that make me a pussy? Seriously, show some class. Unless that's really difficult for you. In that case, just go ahead being an ignorant ass. See how far that gets you.
Gremlinswife 13
55 you still have trouble with some dogs (justifiably) but you did not say you have trouble with stuffed dogs. A teddy bear and a real bear are nothing alike. OP's daughters boyfriend is way overreacting.
nictransitglory 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Agreed that the boyfriend is a total pussy. I love how everyone is playing the trauma card, but its a stuffed bear, and a cute one at that. Also since the mom had NO idea, and bears do significant damage while mauling people, it's probably safe to assume that by "almost mauled to death" he really just saw a bear in the woods. Bottom line, OP's daughter should dump that pussy for being so embarrassingly a pussy. If my daughter ever brings home a guy who screams and runs like a bitch from a teddy bear, I'm going to give him something to really run from.
Axipiter 24
I disagree entirely. If there's enough psychological damage, a trigger can be something as simple as a likeness. It depends entirely on the makeup of the individual. I'd never make the assumption of assuming he was a pussy without having had a few rounds with him. I'm not saying he's NOT a pussy, I just don't think that judgement should be passed. Only he really knows how scarred he is from it.
cadyt1234 11
I agree with 71. My stepdad and my mom have PTSD. From different events in their lives of course, but still. The boyfriend could have PTSD from the bear mauling and seriously, who died and made you people god, huh? What right do you have to criticize someone for being afraid of something? It's okay to judge, just don't say it allowed because you could really hurt someone. Think about how you would feel if you were mauled by a bear. Think about how you would feel if anything remotely alike to a bear scared the living daylights out of you. You wouldn't like it. Give the boyfriend some credit for not being afraid to share his emotions. It's hard sometimes. All in all, I agree with 71.
sheogarth 3
I think that you are wrong on that... I have a friend that had a tree fall on him... took him completely by surprise... now he is afraid that trees are going to fall on him. he's almost paranoid of them.
idontcare23 5
If you we're ******* almost mauled to death by a bear you would probibaly be scared too
laxman_tim 7
Thank you, there is nothing scary about a stuffed bear
laxman_tim 7
You people are way too over sensitive it was a stuffed bear grow a pair and don't be afraid of a stuffed animal
Raleigh4Life 0
I
akallaan 7
Awesome mom is fail.
kdog333 1
i think you need to double check that grammar...
dolphins_penny 5
u couldn't have guessed this OP but u kind of deserved it. if ur daughter told u not to go through with the idea u should have trusted her enough to understand there was a reason behind. what if u had made it and they had just broken up? it would have been a painful reminder to her, or in this case he has a phobia of bears for a good reason.
kennaem1 11
Is it really that hard to spell out "you" and "you're"?
kaylizs 20
Yes.
Luluthus 41
#85 *your. If you're going to correct the use of you, your and you're, then you need to know the difference.
TahoeFMler 22
If she's old enough for a boyfriend, would she even want a teddy bear? And perhaps OP needs to remember her listening eats from grade school...
ambear26 14
Me and my boyfriend got teddy bears at build-a-bear and I'm 18..... Actually I got a cheetah he got a panda bear ..... Don't judge... Lol.
emilyjgraham 34
I agree 29! Although you and your boyfriend made them whilst OPs mum did theirs, I find that slightly weird. Plus in the fml it says NEW boyfriend, am I the only that thinks this is a bit strange?
miss_madison 10
I would totally ask my mum for a build-bear regardless of my age. My boyfriend… he'd probably just shake his head and laugh at me until he realized it's sharing the bed with us.
sharksfan48 13
How could you not deserve it? Yes, your sister should have been more specific but if she says no you have to respect that. I would say FHL or getting attacked by a bear.
BreeannHatesYou 4
What FML did you even read?
Snazzy_Snaz 17
Don't release the Care Bears!
brandonwong 18
That's... Interesting.....