Today, I went out and made build-a-bears that looked like my daughter and her new boyfriend. It turns out she had been insisting that I didn't for a good reason; upon sight of his, her boyfriend screamed and fled the house. Turns out he was nearly mauled to death by a bear. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my coworker convinced a little girl that teddy bears are actually the bodies of dead baby bears. I work at Build-a-Bear-Workshop, and we were working a 4-year-old's birthday party. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought me a voice personalized Build-a-Bear. I thought he was going to propose to me through it, only to press the foot of the bear and hear, "We should break up" instead. FML
Today, my 4-year-old daughter couldn't sleep, crying that her teddy bear wanted to eat her. My husband thought it would be funny to put the bear right in front of her face while she slept. She's now terrified to sleep anywhere but in our bed. FML
Today, I was forced to go to the mall with my dad. He wore a bear suit the entire time. FML
Today, I got mugged by someone wearing a bear suit. FML
Today, I was pretending to be an angry bear while babysitting a 3 year-old boy, and an 19 month-old girl. I was chasing them around the house, having a great time. Just when I bent over to pick up his sister for a diaper change, the 3 year-old decided it was his turn. He bit me square on the ass. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to get out of the shower. Bored, I sent my friend a picture of myself pretending to make out with his bear rug. After the photo shoot, I looked in the doorway to find his dad staring at me. FML
Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and another couple. We saw a black bear. I shrieked and peed, while the other guy stepped forward and yelled, "Get outta here!" To my surprise, it ran away. My girlfriend is so ashamed of me that she's refusing to share a tent. I'm sleeping in my truck bed. FML
Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML
Today, my daughter's boyfriend came to the house to pick her up. As a responsible father, I had an evil plan to torture the boy who dares date my girl, but my wife preempted my plan so during his short visit, she stood behind me the whole time with her taser down my buttcrack in case I acted up. FML
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Top comments
unknown_user5566 27
Why would you continue with a gift idea when someone is telling you not to? Granted, you could not have known the bear mauling bit. However, you seem like one of those annoying gift givers that buy things according to what YOU think a person should have.
nothing92x 13
I'm guessing OP couldn't bear the thought of not making the Teddy for both of them.
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Comments (144)
Chel2010 10
I didn't see the "new" part until just now. Shouldn't that be something for a long-term couple, or husband/wife? Kinda on the weird side now that I think about it...
Three4Ten 10
That was a stupid idea anyway.
_Miserella21 6
I'm confused as to why you made bears to look like them in the first place........
WickedWolf 11
Yeah... Bs much?
rosaleehoohaha 0
...what kind of gift is that even if they liked it
sugoine 12
This is just hilarious!!!!!!
Zomg_Okay 27
What are you afraid of, 73? Come on, now, don't lie. We all know you're afraid of something. Everybody is. Picture that one thing that terrifies you senseless. Imagine that fear being revealed in public and imagine those around you deciding it was the funniest thing that ever happened while you relived horrible memories. Ha-*******-ha.
sugoine 12
She didn't listen to her daughter, so yes, dumbass, this IS hilarious!!!!
NeonPopRocks 14
Yeah, when I was 13, I had gotten bucked off a horse and fell into barbed wire. Now I still have trouble getting on some horses. He's not overreacting, for some people a teddy bear reminds them, for others maybe it's horses.
kaylizs 20
Well, yeah, but you still get on horses. He ran from an inanimate 10 centimetre fluffball.
KooLDooD121 0
Ted aint that much of a bad teddy bear now
Spottedfeather 7
Why would you make bears for your daughter and her boyfriend ? That's just weird.
thathipsterchick 2
Attack of the teddy bear! Thunder buddies whoop whoop!