By hnickell93 - 09/10/2012 01:55 - United States - Visalia

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 676
You deserved it 5 377

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I can't help but get a flashback of the horrific 2girls1cup video...

unknown_user5566 26

This immediately reminded me of the Family Guy episode where Peter, Chris, Brian and Stewie are trying to outlast one another after drinking some weird medicine. It was disgusting as a cartoon, so I can only imagine how horrific it was in real life. FYL indeed, OP.

Comments

whoa! Time to hire a maid

Make sure the maid has enough lemon pledge

Yeah. When something's tough, get someone else to do it. MURICA.

What's this? A mess in my home for which I am responsible? I'm American, I shouldn't have to deal with this.

1, I believe the Original Poster should be awarded Wife of the Year Award.

Get the sawdust.

#57 I'm American and I'm well capable of cleaning up messes without having other ppl doing it.

71-But you're not capable of spelling out the word "people" even though you took the time to use correct puctuation. Typical halfass american.

72 - You sort of half-assed your comment as well. You forgot to capitalize American, and you forgot a comma. Edit: You also mispelled "punctuation".

#71 He was also being kinda funny, not 100% serious, but I'm really happy you can take care of yourself.

I think the point to be taken here is that having half of an ass is very bad for you. And this fml just reminds me of those family guy episodes where everyone just starts throwing up. :P

78- he also misspelled half-assed. :D

57: Typical slick-haired tool blaming issues on the nationality.

At least it's not on carpet.

I think washing a floor and wall of puke is still disgusting and a job no one wants. Who cares that it didn't land on carpet.

However washing vomit out of a crapet is way worse than just tiles.

Well there was probably a wastebasket nearby that OP could have used. I know that would have held vomit better than her husband's back

Vomit party ! Yay !

THAT'S HOW YOU GET ANTS, LANA.

Bonding with the hubby

This makes me think of that one family guy episode where everyone was throwing up and they kept on throwing up because they saw everyone else throwing up.

I can't help but get a flashback of the horrific 2girls1cup video...

Thank you very, very much for giving the rest of us the same flashback.

#18, just go see "Monty Python's Meaning of Life" -- you'll get a much more disturbing image. Cheers!

Not meeee. Saved myself from watching that video. I doubt I would've been able to delete that from my memory. Phew

36) Do me a favor and watch "Monty Python's Meaning of Life" and give me your reflections on it. Pretty please?

#38, "It's only waffer thin..."

Haha no that's ok. Even though you're a cute kitty, your cuteness won't send me into a trap scarring me for life

Now I see you want me to do your dirty work. Bad kitty, bad boy! Go and watch it yourself since perdix was the one who told you about it first.

44) Now why on earth would I watch anything perdix suggests to me?

Out of curiosity? But since you're still here, curiosity didn't kill you...

#45, good call! If only more people were as smart as you! They wouldn't try to look up the Blue Waffle or the meaning of "felching."

Does it bother anyone that the clip you see on "2 girls 1 cup"....is only the trailer. It's actually a 2 hour length porno called "Hungry Bitches".

66 - ... No, that doesn't bother me at all, actually.

53- my brother-in-law posted a picture of an actual breakfast waffle colored blue on Facebook and it had the caption I bet you can't find this exact picture on google. His mom looked it up shortly after he posted it. Her reaction was hilarious.

Good thing I never saw it :)

Vomitception. Had to.. But FYL op sorry that happened. This is why when someone's sick I stay away from them puking its one of the few things that makes me puke

Vomit party, anyone? Doesn't even matter if you're sober or not :D

Vomit party? What is wrong with you...

Who wants clam chowder?

It's like the domino effect! ... Kinda ...

unknown_user5566 26

This immediately reminded me of the Family Guy episode where Peter, Chris, Brian and Stewie are trying to outlast one another after drinking some weird medicine. It was disgusting as a cartoon, so I can only imagine how horrific it was in real life. FYL indeed, OP.

Oops posted mine without reading the comments! But glad i wasn't the only one who thought of this exact episode.

unknown_user5566 26

No worries. As I told #9, great minds think alike. :)

Who wants chowder!?

32- *BBBBLLLLEEEEEHHHHHH!!!!!*

That was so funny the first time. I love Family Guy.

Hold my ears!

Kinda funny how shit like this happens. Gotta love alcohol XD

Yeah, you're like 10... But honestly, how do people even get drunk off their asses for any reason? No self control...

unknown_user5566 26

79- His profile says he's 18. Your profile states you're 19. I think you can hop down from your little pedestal, now.

Am I the only one who thought of Family Guy? (Guess not, someone beat me to it) That really sucks OP, get a cleaning crew to come in while you and your husband rest!

unknown_user5566 26

Sorry, 9! Great minds think alike. :) Situations like this make me never, ever want to be part of a professional cleaning crew. I don't think I could handle coming in to clean up after a drunken puke-fest.

Reminds me of the time when I was five and shat all over my babysitters bathroom wall cause I didn't make it to the toilet. Her daughter had to clean it all up. I feel tremendously bad for her.

unknown_user5566 26

I'm a little confused/disturbed by two things here. 1) You didn't make it to the toilet, but ended up shitting on the wall (and not the floor)? Did you run into a corner or something? 2) Your babysitter made her daughter clean it up? Maybe it's just me, but that is kind of messed up.

Yup, I shat as I was bending over to sit on the toilet. Making me spray that walls and floor too, I guess. Welcome to the Hispanic life.

Wtf does this have to do with being Hispanic? I'm Hispanic and I have never shit on a wall!!! Am I missing out on a ritual my parents didn't want to tell me?