Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, as I was walking home from work, I became the victim of a drive-by peanutting. Yes, apparently I'm only worth a bag of nuts. FML
Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML
Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML
Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, my friend took our prank war too far when he secretly added peanuts to my food. I have a peanut allergy. FML
Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear fit, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just as a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML
Today, I was out enjoying my daily jog, when out of nowhere, a group of kids in a passing car pelted me with ketchup-filled water balloons. FML
Today, my boyfriend’s mom fed me a new dish containing peanuts, knowing full well I’m severely allergic. According to her, her ancestors “cured” allergies by exposing the person to the allergen. I went into anaphylactic shock. FML
Today, I got hit by a stray cantaloupe. That's not a typo. I hate my neighbors' kids with a burning passion. FML
Today, my little brother gave me an open jar of peanut butter for my birthday. I'm deathly allergic, and he knows it. Despite his maniacal grin and snickering, my parents said it was an innocent mistake, and grounded me for yelling at him. FML
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Top comments
anniemeece 23
Why on earth would he do that? D:
JJ88 0
Little kids are dicks today, I blame mtv and disney. You should have said something that would have sent him crying lol
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Comments (161)
mercedeslove 0
Bash his face in with a hammer and tell him you hope it kills him. Worthless little piece of ******* shit. I seriously hope he gets killed on the way to school.
spacer_ 0
why do you care so much? You've never met the ******* kid. What's with all these "kill him" posts; he's SIX. Some people are getting wayy too angry about something that ultimately doesn't affect them at all..
Jigsy 0
Have him brought up on attempted pre-meditated murder charges. That'll learn him.
thesunshotme 0
LOL. I'm so sorry, OP, but that's funny. Looks like someone needs a time out... ...for a year :D
Sokai_fml 0
I admit I laughed but wow, that sucks. |:
TarasTrouble 0
thats soooo mean. but its funny at the same time. what did you do to make him turn on ya like that jeez
NYGuy828 0
Man, either, as one early poster said, you did something to piss this kid off (EX: Yell at him) or he is gonna grow up to be one of those kids who shoots up his High School.
OhMyGodOx 0
Ahahhaha. I'm Sorry. I Laughed. Hard. Stupid Kid,, :) x
cmac86 24
not exactly what Jesus had in mind when He said "Love thy neighbor".
Bloonbloon 0
lololo
NatzSwifey 0
is it wrong that I lol'd at this