Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Drive-by casualty
Today, as I was walking home from work, I became the victim of a drive-by peanutting. Yes, apparently I'm only worth a bag of nuts. FML
Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML
Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML
Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, my friend took our prank war too far when he secretly added peanuts to my food. I have a peanut allergy. FML
Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear fit, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just as a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML
Today, I was out enjoying my daily jog, when out of nowhere, a group of kids in a passing car pelted me with ketchup-filled water balloons. FML
Call the cops!
Today, my boyfriend’s mom fed me a new dish containing peanuts, knowing full well I’m severely allergic. According to her, her ancestors “cured” allergies by exposing the person to the allergen. I went into anaphylactic shock. FML
Today, I got hit by a stray cantaloupe. That's not a typo. I hate my neighbors' kids with a burning passion. FML
Today, my little brother gave me an open jar of peanut butter for my birthday. I'm deathly allergic, and he knows it. Despite his maniacal grin and snickering, my parents said it was an innocent mistake, and grounded me for yelling at him. FML
Top comments
anniemeece 23
Why on earth would he do that? D:
JJ88 0
Little kids are dicks today, I blame mtv and disney. You should have said something that would have sent him crying lol
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Comments (161)
IWantLamingtons 4
that really sucks
12stargirl 0
he probably hates u
brianjman14 23
u shoulda punted the kid like a football and have him go flying thru the air
Kaiden2554 3
Ccooooookkkkjiiiiieeees. I feel z sad for u tell the parent to take of his kid and give him happy pills or sumfin
HunnyLove 0
crazy ass kid... lol
lovepeacecheer 0
I find this quite hilarious
skyeyez9 25
If you ever see him fall off his bike, or get hurt, laugh hysterically at him.
ttabano19 0
first of all, an allergy is a serious thing and should be treated properly. second, anyone who thinks this is funny and is" lmao" or clicked the "you deserve it" button clearly has something wrong with them. the mother of this child should severly educate her son on allergies so he doesn't act like a dick again and get punched. allergies are serious, some people should keep them that way.
Deathhound 27
What would he have done when you really would have died because of this? :/ I agree with ttabano19 on this one.
KitsuneNarutoKun 13
Should have dropped to the floor pretending to die. That'll teach the little git a lesson when he freaks out thinking he's a murderer