Today, I deeply underestimated my baby nephew's climbing skills....

By "wolfssb135"

Today, I deeply underestimated my baby nephew's climbing skills. I returned from the bathroom to find a broken vase, spilled powder formula, and my phone wiped clean from too many incorrect password attempts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3182

You deserved it

991

Favorite

Kids

Geek

Season finale

Cake is everything

Some winners…

By Helseac

Today, I noticed my husband makes better sex sounds on the toilet then he does with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2620

You deserved it

414

Favorite

By Patoose - Canada - Montr?al

Today, I had surgery done to fix an ingrown toenail. When the doctor started cutting the nail, my toe wasn't entirely frozen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15804

You deserved it

1417

Favorite

By OrangeTree12 - Canada

Today, a really cute guy sat across from me on the bus. He smiled at me, then tensed his muscles and lifted a heavy bag with one arm. Thinking he was trying to act "macho" to impress me, I rolled my eyes and threw him an annoyed/disgusted look. When he got off, I realized he only had one arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11150

You deserved it

83493

Favorite

By nyatzz - United States

Today, my landlady cut off the Internet to my flat. She says she has no use for it, and doesn't want to keep it anymore. I have 3 online assignments due in the next week, and finals the following week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33147

You deserved it

2902

Favorite

By AussieG75 - United States - Saint Augustine

Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML

I agree, your life sucks

25259

You deserved it

2520

Favorite

By really? - United States

Today, I got a notice from the housing association, if I don't water my lawn I will be charged a $150 fine. Yet if I do water my lawn the city with charge me a $150 fine because of the drought. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27212

You deserved it

1619

Favorite

By KatrinaKitten - United States

Today, I went to a Japanese restaurant, where the chefs cook the food right in front of you. Our chef tossed an egg in the air, but sadly didn't catch it. Don't worry though, my hair got it instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33974

You deserved it

3520

Favorite

By Triumvirate - United States

Today, I learned that making an illegal U-turn right after you see a cop doing one will not stop said cop from ticketing you. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12633

You deserved it

41944

Favorite

By jadkins - Netherlands

Today, I was flirting with this cute girl from Croatia who is part of the my exchange group in Holland. After a few beers and some smooth talking, she led me inside to a closed off room. We were about to have sex when her boyfriend of 2 years called and proposed to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56620

You deserved it

22128

Favorite

By anonymous - United States - Crossville

Today, while working the drive-thru at work, an older woman asked for my phone number to give to her single son. After I politely declined, she called me a slut and threw her food at me through the window before promptly speeding off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14125

You deserved it

1009

Favorite

By BOOMerang - United States

Today, I played with a boomerang my first time. I didn't believe that when you threw it, it comes right back to you. It flew back all right. And broke my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13385

You deserved it

45335

Favorite

By Anonymous - Ireland

Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21532

You deserved it

2466

Favorite

By ohh jeez. - United States

Today, I handed in an assignment in health class that had to calculate my BMI. Embarassed by my weight I put it 15 pounds less. I got the assignment back and lost credit for something. Circled in red pen on the top was you must put your "EXACT" weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43580

You deserved it

18837

Favorite

By Alex - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27703

You deserved it

88833

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Burbank

Today, I was driving a little over the speed limit, when I saw a cop car waiting to join the road ahead of me. I quickly hit the brakes so they wouldn't have a payday with me. I hit the brakes too hard, lost control and almost ended up on someone's lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10524

You deserved it

25045

Favorite

By gdog10122 - United States

Today, I found out that my dad, thinking it was an advertisement, threw away a letter from the college I applied to. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39083

You deserved it

2654

Favorite

By Vgameboi - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he was showing off pictures of me to co-workers. It wasn't until later that he said, "Don't worry, they were old pictures, from when you were hot." They were from four years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28313

You deserved it

4235

Favorite

By WellThere'sThat

Today, I got a big math test back. Good news: I can connect abstract ideas beyond what was taught. Bad news: I can’t do simple math, such as 30/-5. I failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2937

You deserved it

801

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out I'm balding faster than my dad. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57643

You deserved it

3170

Favorite

By notasgood - United States

All in the family

Today, my boyfriend dumped me so he could sleep with my mom without feeling guilty. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39352

You deserved it

3312

Favorite

By mahanaaa_23 - United States - Honolulu

Today, my boyfriend of 6 years proposed to me. Less than 3 hours later, he panicked and made me give the ring back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45690

You deserved it

4380

Favorite

By oreoblizzard619 - United States

Today, after meeting my girlfriend's family and trying my hardest to impress them, she told me that they came up with a nickname for me. My new name is "Matt the Doormat." FML

I agree, your life sucks

21450

You deserved it

3129

Favorite

By a non e mouse - United States - Valparaiso

Today, I tried to unlock my house's front door by hitting the unlock button on my car keys. It took me some time to realize my mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19869

You deserved it

8104

Favorite

By Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, my dad came up behind me with a pair of scissors, and pretended to snip away at my hair. I was sure he was joking, so I just sat there and didn't react. Later, I felt the back of my head and looked at my hand. Suffice it to say, I now have a large bald patch on the back of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36089

You deserved it

6691

Favorite

By Dexter_39476 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, I found out my family refers to my room as "the virgin cave". FML

I agree, your life sucks

23354

You deserved it

2801

Favorite

By Nutty - United States

Today, I was sitting next to this cute guy on an airplane who I had started talking to. There was still an empty seat between us and it seemed like there weren't any more passengers boarding the plane. I then asked out loud, "I wonder if anyone will sit between us?" He replied "I hope so." FML

I agree, your life sucks

47088

You deserved it

12432

Favorite

By HBCruiser

Today, I’m sitting in my living room, smelling onions frying. My house is all closed up. I’m not cooking anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1432

You deserved it

149

Favorite

By bachelor - United States

Today, was my bachelor party. The only people that showed up were my best man and my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43637

You deserved it

3658

Favorite

By beautifulme - United States

Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27048

You deserved it

4806

Favorite

By askprussia - United States - Pompano Beach

Today, my brother was playing one of those old street fighter games. He suddenly asked me what "K.O." meant. I told him it meant "Knocked Out," but he started getting mad at me because "'knocked' isn't spelled with a 'k'". He's 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23078

You deserved it

1498

Favorite

By blk8764 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store when an elderly woman walked up to me and said, "Why can't every guy be as handsome as you?" I would have been flattered by the comment, if I was a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39466

You deserved it

4760

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I met up with an old high school friend who I used to make fun of because he put so much effort into his studies. Turns out he makes my annual salary in a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9090

You deserved it

97205

Favorite

By alittlepersonal - United States - Lewis Center

Today, my mom decided to subtly bring up her desire for grandchildren. "You really need a girlfriend. I'm surprised you don't have a crippling case of Carpal Tunnel by now." FML

I agree, your life sucks

22027

You deserved it

3067

Favorite

By Lunazel93 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34299

You deserved it

1902

Favorite

By Livewire - United States

Today, it's New Year's Eve. My husband and I weren't invited to any parties, and we don't have a sitter to be able to go out by ourselves. Instead, I'm watching "Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2" on the Disney channel with our 5-year-old, and my husband has passed out on the couch from sheer boredom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28845

You deserved it

7500

Favorite

By nattnatt73 - United States - Marion

Today, my dog brought me his squeaky toy to throw for him. I went to throw it down the hallway but it hit the door and bounced about a foot in front of him. He just stared at me for a minute like I was dumb, then took it to my boyfriend to throw. I disappoint even my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14748

You deserved it

1848

Favorite

By skid kid - Canada

Today, I angrily tweeted about having fruitlessly searched for over an hour for my car keys. Minutes later, some guy told me to check beneath the "stack of skid-marked underwear" on my bedroom floor. I'm not sure if it was a lucky guess, or if I should start carrying mace. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28762

You deserved it

6576

Favorite

By bathtime - United States

Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30810

You deserved it

4185

Favorite

By mmoments - United States

Today, I took a picture of the combination to my new lock so I would always have it on my phone if I ever forgot it. I put my phone in my gym locker, locked it with the new lock, then promptly forgot the combination. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13868

You deserved it

26624

Favorite

By IdiotNursingStudent - United States - Belton

Today, I was reviewing for a major nursing school exam I have this week. I panicked because none of the material seemed familiar, and figured that I must've missed something during class and now had to catch up. After 4 hours, I finally realized that I'd been studying from the wrong textbook. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33554

You deserved it

14451

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Glowworm56 | 25

#7555903 - Monday 23 October 2017 22:09

Has watching Rugrats taught you nothing about babies?

By Donut_Wizard | 23

#7555944 - Monday 23 October 2017 23:53

And for some mysterious reason the Mission Impossible theme was playing in the background.

COMMENTS

By Glowworm56 | 25

#7555903 - Monday 23 October 2017 22:09

Has watching Rugrats taught you nothing about babies?

By exileonmainst | 16

#7555910 - Monday 23 October 2017 22:21

Does your nephew give classes? I want to get back into bouldering but it’s been a while.

By really_dad? | 13

#7555928 - Monday 23 October 2017 22:50

At least you know he can sneakily get you anything you asked. Become villains and drive the hero's crazy

By RichardPencil | 28

#7555933 - Monday 23 October 2017 22:58

Are you sure your nephew is a baby, and not a mischievous “little person” lying about his age?

You should have suspected something when his driver’s license said he was 7 months old.

By Donut_Wizard | 23

#7555944 - Monday 23 October 2017 23:53

And for some mysterious reason the Mission Impossible theme was playing in the background.

By davecross | 11

#7555948 - Tuesday 24 October 2017 0:14

Rookie move your not allowed to leave a toddler alone should have taken him with you or put on a diaper yourself. Those little rascals are smarter then they look and will alway find a way to escape

By onceuponatime456 | 16

#7556177 - Tuesday 24 October 2017 16:26

Phone wiped clean from too many password attempts??? On what planet?

TheUnbreakable55 | 16

#7556301 - Tuesday 24 October 2017 21:58

Android phones have a feature that factory resets the phone after, I believe, 10 password attempts. You can disable this in settings, which obviously OP didn't know about...