Love: Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed... - FML

By Indianagirl94 - 29/10/2012 22:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 683

You deserved it 3 376

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Same thing different taste

By Scott - 15/09/2011 07:34 - United States

Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 282

You deserved it 6 412

By Anonymous - 30/03/2011 18:26 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding. It was my boyfriend. According to him, he wanted to experience what his mother never gave him as a kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 564

You deserved it 8 311

By sore - 04/01/2010 11:30 - France

Spicy

Today, I woke up with bruised nipples because apparently my boyfriend likes to excessively play with them while I sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 761

You deserved it 3 873

Baby fever

By SkeetinKeaton - 06/05/2013 06:29 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 391

You deserved it 6 561

Meow!

By patronuscat? - 05/10/2017 01:30

Today, I woke up in a guy's bed to one of his cats licking my nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 619

You deserved it 1 060

By Milk Dispenser - 12/03/2019 05:00 - United States - Herriman

Today, breastfeeding my infant has become so automatic that when my dog nuzzled up against me while I was sleeping, I lifted up my shirt and unhooked my nursing bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 984

You deserved it 372

Bittie

By Alwayspotato - 11/07/2020 05:02

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend, he had his head on my chest and we both fell asleep. Suddenly, I woke up by my boyfriend biting my nipple, hard, in his sleep. I now need to go to the pharmacy because of a bleeding nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 531

You deserved it 154

By Nasty - 25/04/2016 16:59 - United States - Tallahassee

Spicy

Today, while watching home videos with my family, I saw a clip of me as an infant attempting to breast feed from my father while he laughed uncontrollably. Now, my son keeps sneaking his baby brother's head under my shirt while I'm asleep. The last time he actually began to suckle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 971

You deserved it 1 368

By possiblyoverweight - 08/11/2011 14:01 - United Kingdom

Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 888

You deserved it 4 388

Exploding milk ****

By not that kinda squirting - 30/04/2019 14:00

Spicy

Today, my husband and I were having sex for the first time since I had our son. As I was riding him in a heated passion, he grabbed my breasts. Milk literally shot out onto his face. Mood totally ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 843

You deserved it 561

Next

Top comments

SeniorHaG 4

Tuesday 30 October 2012 8:41

I guess your baby is hungry.

prioo 6

Tuesday 30 October 2012 8:49

He just wanted a little midnight snack without having to go all the way to the fridge.

Comments

jazzykinss 1

Wednesday 31 October 2012 3:10

Wtf

PhishloverA 14

Wednesday 31 October 2012 3:36

Someone enjoyed their nursing days as a baby. He'll be real jealous if you do have a baby and those nursing days come

genquad 6

Thursday 1 November 2012 0:20

How exactly would she not already have a baby?

yusaku02 20

Wednesday 31 October 2012 4:26

The only problem I see is that he did it while you were asleep.

5150chaos 7

Wednesday 31 October 2012 5:08

Lamborghini Mercy Yo hubby is so thirsty

SupaHotFire 4

Wednesday 31 October 2012 6:40

Got milk?

Cinderella_Man 10

Wednesday 31 October 2012 15:53

You are soooooo selfish!

MissPixy 7

Wednesday 31 October 2012 16:03

hey i dunno why ur complaing gettn ur nipples suckd on feels sooo good i mean by a full grown man im only 21 not havn kids yet haha but yer ur hubby was gettn a prize outa it to! u feel good he gets breakky whats the big deal lol

That_Korean_Kid 4

Wednesday 31 October 2012 16:49

Got milk?

B5B0N35 18

Wednesday 31 October 2012 16:57

Lol sucks for you

sorrowsangel89 1

Wednesday 31 October 2012 21:11

So weird.

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The Top

Today, I got back a paper after a peer review. I had worked really hard on it over the last week and was proud of the end result. When I got the paper back, the only positive comment on the paper was, "Well, I really like the blue staple you used to hold it together." FML

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You deserved it 5 250

Today, I got out of bed, soaked up the beautiful sunlight, and went to the kitchen to make some coffee. I saw my dad rummaging through the fridge, shirtless and one ball poking through his underwear. I needed to see that about as much as I need ass cancer. FML

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You deserved it 2 609

The Top

Today, my nephew grabbed my balls to wake me up at 4 AM. FML

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You deserved it 168

Today, I got sent home from work for appearing stoned/under the influence of drugs. I suffer from severe hay fever, which no antihistamine has fixed yet, hence the red and glassy eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 940

You deserved it 2 277

Today, the girl who lived downstairs and who was also sleeping with my guy moved out. She left a stack of my mail she had been taking at my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 013

You deserved it 90

Today, I was unable to go on my dream vacation because I thought I'd lost my passport. Feeling incredibly stupid, I had no choice but to watch my plane depart without me. Shortly after, my brother handed me passport, saying that since I wasn't going on my trip, I could use my refund to pay for his cat's surgery. My trip was non-refundable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 908

You deserved it 210

Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 285

You deserved it 26 947

Today, my wife asked me to wrap an empty box to put under the Christmas tree. She didn't want her vlog followers to think she didn't get me any gifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 120