Health: Today, while watching home videos with my family, I saw a clip...

By Nasty - 25/04/2016 16:59 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, while watching home videos with my family, I saw a clip of me as an infant attempting to breast feed from my father while he laughed uncontrollably. Now, my son keeps sneaking his baby brother's head under my shirt while I'm asleep. The last time he actually began to suckle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 984

You deserved it 1 371

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Same thing different taste

By Indianagirl94 - 29/10/2012 22:22 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 710

You deserved it 3 387

Baby fever

By SkeetinKeaton - 06/05/2013 06:29 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 403

You deserved it 6 565

Bittie

By Anonymous - 18/09/2020 14:02 - Hungary - Sopron

Today, it was my brother's wedding so my mother-in-law was taking care of my 8-month-old son. When I came back to our room to check how things were going, I saw her "breastfeeding" my child. She said it was the only way to calm him down because he didn't have a pacifier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 813

You deserved it 212

By Anonymous - 30/03/2011 18:26 - Canada

Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding. It was my boyfriend. According to him, he wanted to experience what his mother never gave him as a kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 578

You deserved it 8 314

By possiblyoverweight - 08/11/2011 14:01 - United Kingdom

Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 902

You deserved it 4 392

By Mamallama - 19/08/2018 13:00

Today, I leaned down to pick up my infant son from his highchair. He reached up and grabbed the first thing available to him: my nipple. I got purple-nurpled by my baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 345

You deserved it 402

By Milk Dispenser - 12/03/2019 05:00 - United States - Herriman

Today, breastfeeding my infant has become so automatic that when my dog nuzzled up against me while I was sleeping, I lifted up my shirt and unhooked my nursing bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 989

You deserved it 383

By ameliaruth09 - 22/01/2015 22:36 - United States - Milford

Today, while breast feeding my 7 month-old before his nap, I hummed his favorite song as I rocked. He pulled away, stared at me, and cried til I shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 906

You deserved it 5 133

By I don't know, son - 16/11/2013 01:53 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 847

You deserved it 4 781

By Scott - 15/09/2011 07:34 - United States

Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 293

You deserved it 6 420

bethanyhopkins 49

Tuesday 26 April 2016 8:51

... How old is your son?

nesssy 16

Tuesday 26 April 2016 8:50

Well, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree I guess.

Comments

nesssy 16

Tuesday 26 April 2016 8:50

Well, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree I guess.

bethanyhopkins 49

Tuesday 26 April 2016 8:51

... How old is your son?

whysobeachy 37

Tuesday 26 April 2016 18:59

I'm hoping he's in his early twenties, or something.

riddhi 16

Tuesday 26 April 2016 8:57

time to make your family videos..

compensator 7

Tuesday 26 April 2016 9:17

New family tradition?

Magnoxidans 19

Tuesday 26 April 2016 9:32

What a SUCKY situation.

Kidd_Ant 18

Tuesday 26 April 2016 12:55

Nope nope nope, tried too hard.

Kaylyn15 23

Tuesday 26 April 2016 19:00

Go to your room and think about what you did.

ssnow_fml 20

Tuesday 26 April 2016 10:09

This is probably the weirdest FML I have ever read.

Delta_0DST 12

Tuesday 26 April 2016 16:24

No arguments from me on that. Definitely one of the weirdest FMLs out there currently

Mynamewontfi 40

Tuesday 26 April 2016 10:23

Sharing is caring. Now you know how it feels for his mother.

Frau_Blucher 14

Tuesday 26 April 2016 10:45

Hey I did that when I was an infant too, as told by my parents lol (except I used to cry when my father's chest hair got in the way)

sturschaedel 27

Tuesday 26 April 2016 11:28

I tried to do that with my hubby when our kids were little, but they wouldn't try to drink. I guess he didn't smell like milk enough.

The_Potato_Lord 15

Tuesday 26 April 2016 14:10

That must've sucked. I'll leave.

rldostie 19

Tuesday 26 April 2016 14:33

Know you know how it feels to breastfeed! Sort of.

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Bosses Capitalism Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, my boyfriend "proposed" to me. When we first started dating, he told me that he hated the concept of marriage and absolutely never wanted to go through with it. So I laughed and turned him down, obviously thinking it was just a joke. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 237

Today, on my first day as a community support officer, a 7-foot meathead in the middle of a domestic argument told me to “piss off shorty”, and when I asked him not to swear at me, he picked me up one-handed and threw me in a builder's skip full of mud and wet cement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 559

You deserved it 351

The Top

Today, I was showing my step-dad old photos of the family. We got to a picture of me and I mentioned how much weight I've lost. He muttered, "Heh, fat AND blind". FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 404

You deserved it 2 021

Today, my brother finally informed me that our shower head has an option to make the water only come out of the detachable part. My left leg's been in a cast for 4 months, and the whole time I've had to shower sitting backwards with my leg sticking out the door. He knew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 568

You deserved it 7 062

Today, I realized why I was hired to be a nanny. Apparently the husband had eyes for the last nanny. According to the wife I am not attractive enough to be a threat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 730

You deserved it 3 529

Today, I was going to have a phone interview for an amazing internship opportunity. It was supposed to take place at 11AM. It’s now 1:30PM. My phone calls and concerned email have gone unanswered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 81

Today, I was working as a cashier and a woman brought up a suitcase. As I was ringing her up I checked inside like I'm supposed to and I very jokingly say, "Look at all the stuff you're stealing." She laughed nervously then hit me in the head with her heavy purse before running out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 535

You deserved it 4 469

Today, I got my period. Last week, I fell out of a window and landed between my legs on a bush; I have massive swelling down there, and stitches over the ripped flesh. Now I'm bleeding out my period on top of the lingering wounds down there. It hurts even to pee, let alone menstruate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 762

You deserved it 4 686

Same thing different taste

Baby fever

Bittie

Top comments

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