Health: Today, while watching home videos with my family, I saw a clip...

By Nasty - 25/04/2016 16:59 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, while watching home videos with my family, I saw a clip of me as an infant attempting to breast feed from my father while he laughed uncontrollably. Now, my son keeps sneaking his baby brother's head under my shirt while I'm asleep. The last time he actually began to suckle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 971

You deserved it 1 366

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Indianagirl94 - 29/10/2012 22:22 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 682

You deserved it 3 376

Baby fever

By SkeetinKeaton - 06/05/2013 06:29 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 390

You deserved it 6 561

Bittie

By Anonymous - 18/09/2020 14:02 - Hungary - Sopron

Today, it was my brother's wedding so my mother-in-law was taking care of my 8-month-old son. When I came back to our room to check how things were going, I saw her "breastfeeding" my child. She said it was the only way to calm him down because he didn't have a pacifier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 802

You deserved it 168

By Anonymous - 30/03/2011 18:26 - Canada

Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding. It was my boyfriend. According to him, he wanted to experience what his mother never gave him as a kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 561

You deserved it 8 310

By possiblyoverweight - 08/11/2011 14:01 - United Kingdom

Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 888

You deserved it 4 388

By Mamallama - 19/08/2018 13:00

Today, I leaned down to pick up my infant son from his highchair. He reached up and grabbed the first thing available to him: my nipple. I got purple-nurpled by my baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 339

You deserved it 393

By Milk Dispenser - 12/03/2019 05:00 - United States - Herriman

Today, breastfeeding my infant has become so automatic that when my dog nuzzled up against me while I was sleeping, I lifted up my shirt and unhooked my nursing bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 982

You deserved it 369

By ameliaruth09 - 22/01/2015 22:36 - United States - Milford

Today, while breast feeding my 7 month-old before his nap, I hummed his favorite song as I rocked. He pulled away, stared at me, and cried til I shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 895

You deserved it 5 125

By I don't know, son - 16/11/2013 01:53 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 839

You deserved it 4 777

By Scott - 15/09/2011 07:34 - United States

Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 281

You deserved it 6 412

bethanyhopkins 49

Tuesday 26 April 2016 8:51

... How old is your son?

nesssy 16

Tuesday 26 April 2016 8:50

Well, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree I guess.

Comments

nesssy 16

Tuesday 26 April 2016 8:50

Well, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree I guess.

bethanyhopkins 49

Tuesday 26 April 2016 8:51

... How old is your son?

whysobeachy 37

Tuesday 26 April 2016 18:59

I'm hoping he's in his early twenties, or something.

riddhi 16

Tuesday 26 April 2016 8:57

time to make your family videos..

compensator 7

Tuesday 26 April 2016 9:17

New family tradition?

Magnoxidans 19

Tuesday 26 April 2016 9:32

What a SUCKY situation.

Kidd_Ant 18

Tuesday 26 April 2016 12:55

Nope nope nope, tried too hard.

Kaylyn15 23

Tuesday 26 April 2016 19:00

Go to your room and think about what you did.

ssnow_fml 20

Tuesday 26 April 2016 10:09

This is probably the weirdest FML I have ever read.

Delta_0DST 12

Tuesday 26 April 2016 16:24

No arguments from me on that. Definitely one of the weirdest FMLs out there currently

Mynamewontfi 40

Tuesday 26 April 2016 10:23

Sharing is caring. Now you know how it feels for his mother.

Frau_Blucher 14

Tuesday 26 April 2016 10:45

Hey I did that when I was an infant too, as told by my parents lol (except I used to cry when my father's chest hair got in the way)

sturschaedel 27

Tuesday 26 April 2016 11:28

I tried to do that with my hubby when our kids were little, but they wouldn't try to drink. I guess he didn't smell like milk enough.

The_Potato_Lord 15

Tuesday 26 April 2016 14:10

That must've sucked. I'll leave.

rldostie 19

Tuesday 26 April 2016 14:33

Know you know how it feels to breastfeed! Sort of.

Keywords

Dreams Love Jealousy Gamers Video games Geek AITA Family Parents Kids Animals Relatable Gun control Money Amazon Annoying Birthday Cute Weird Awkward Health Abuse Social Media Scams Friends Miscellaneous Mysterious Education School Teenagers

The Top

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend for cheating on me. I refused his calls, so he texted, not to apologize, but to say I'd "left some clothes in his suitcase"; i.e., he stole some of my clothes. When he didn't get the response from me that he was hoping for, he texted, "I'm wearing your shorts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 120

Today, despite the fact that I'm happy and in love, my spiteful brat of a 12 year-old keeps spreading hateful and disgusting lies about my boyfriend doing unspeakable things while I'm away on business. Her dad told me he's reporting my boyfriend to the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 611

The Top

Today, my father, who is not familiar with keyboards, had me register his new email account for him at the public library. His username choice? "Wang dang sweet poon tang". People heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 196

You deserved it 1 964

Today, after thirteen years of engagement, my fiancé and I split. As is, with the day, we changed our facebook relationships to make it official. I logged back on tonight to find his mother, the woman I've spent the last year looking after and having a good time, 'liking' the break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 942

You deserved it 7 554

Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 478

You deserved it 15 513

Today, I had to repeatedly explain to an increasingly angry lady that no, she couldn't get an ultrasound by using a referral letter from her psychic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 714

You deserved it 3 116

Today, my bra clasp broke in the middle of a job interview. I got the job on the spot. I'm scared to report into work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 425

You deserved it 4 253

Today, I sent a tweet to my favourite artist to tell him that I loved his work. He replied that I was being rude and blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 077

You deserved it 133

Same thing different taste

Baby fever

Bittie

Top comments

Comments