Indianagirl94
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Scott
United States
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Anonymous
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding. It was my boyfriend. According to him, he wanted to experience what his mother never gave him as a kid. FML
sore
France 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I woke up with bruised nipples because apparently my boyfriend likes to excessively play with them while I sleep. FML
SkeetinKeaton
United States
Baby fever
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
patronuscat?
Meow!
Today, I woke up in a guy's bed to one of his cats licking my nipples. FML
Milk Dispenser
Herriman, United States
Today, breastfeeding my infant has become so automatic that when my dog nuzzled up against me while I was sleeping, I lifted up my shirt and unhooked my nursing bra. FML
Alwayspotato
Bittie
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend, he had his head on my chest and we both fell asleep. Suddenly, I woke up by my boyfriend biting my nipple, hard, in his sleep. I now need to go to the pharmacy because of a bleeding nipple. FML
Nasty
Tallahassee, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, while watching home videos with my family, I saw a clip of me as an infant attempting to breast feed from my father while he laughed uncontrollably. Now, my son keeps sneaking his baby brother's head under my shirt while I'm asleep. The last time he actually began to suckle. FML
possiblyoverweight
United Kingdom
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
not that kinda squirting
🌶️ Spicy
Exploding milk ****
Today, my husband and I were having sex for the first time since I had our son. As I was riding him in a heated passion, he grabbed my breasts. Milk literally shot out onto his face. Mood totally ruined. FML
Top comments
SeniorHaG 4
I guess your baby is hungry.
prioo 6
He just wanted a little midnight snack without having to go all the way to the fridge.
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Comments (112)
LuckyLynx7732 5
The only reason I could think of as to why he would do that is because he was curious. I've tasted some by accident once and it was awful.
quickcynic 6
Straight from the source?
astralvagan 20
I used to suck on my ex-wife's nipples. We later read that men are attracted to the pheromones secreted, and the general smell of it. It's perfectly normal.
nowayisthisreal 4
The man is clearly thirsty. Give him a drink. Geez.
lambda_fml 40
Save some for the surprise twins!
SAgirl 24
To much information.
laden_swallow09 35
Not enough O's.
_wraith 15
"Today, my husband woke me up." Yeah, you're right. She definitely didn't need to add the rest.
dewdotcom 1
I would be worried if he starts to bring oreos to bed.
Autocorrected 11
Sure he wasn't just trying to turn you on?
Hammer01 8
Don't be a prude.
lishajoy777 14
he's just letting his inner child out!
peoplepainter 1
So what? The only part that *might* suck here is being woken up, and I bet if you weren't so upright, he would've waited til you were awake!