Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Today, I realized that the only time my girlfriend ever calls me is when she's drunk. FML
Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML
Today, I was texting this guy that I really liked. Things were going pretty well. I got a call from his number and excitedly answered it. It was his girlfriend asking if he was bothering me because he likes to text random people when he's drunk. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML
Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML
Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML
Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML
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Top comments
AnthonyWheeler15 24
Move on OP. You deserve better.
Mynameislinh 24
I am so sorry. Dump her right away and kick the other guy's ass. I hate how some people think being drunk gives you the right to do stupid stuff like that.
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Comments (148)
Fluffydemise 18
Engage revenge sex mode. Target: Any and all of her friends.
cieloalicia 16
That would get back at her, but it's disrespectful to use her friends like that.
ShawnBushOG 9
bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks
Welshite 40
You posted the exact same comment on both FMLs. A little more creativity is recommended.
perdix 31
#23, I called out #15 on that same point on the other story. It seems more appropriate here than on the other one.
Welshite 40
perdix, I really wasn't going for relevance to the FMLs, but rather the pure indolence involved in copying and pasting the same comment.
rg350dx 29
Copying ain't shit but highlights and clicks.
Fluffydemise 18
40, Best post I've read in days, thank you.
RoboCunnilingus 23
Whoaaa, what a bitch. Yeah, move on, OP. Life is but a game and cheaters never prosper.
anonymousguy1569_fml_fml 8
Unless you're playing a GTA game that is.
Irchell 17
Ouch, return the favour with one of her besties. Twice.
Zebediabolical 45
Kick her to the curb. Not literally, because non-consensual violence is never right. But if she's into that, go ahead and get your frustrations out.
PiNkMoOn 9
Let her go and go find the girl who deserves you!
gameover18 17
Game over man dump her and move on.
99megster 15
I'm sick and tired of reading about cheaters on FML.
perdix 31
#27, what are you going to do? Infidelity is a pretty pervasive theme of FMLs. I do think these stories are instructive and might help you detect or prevent it in your own life.
Allennis44 16
Time to get a new girlfriend
mcauley3 8
Out of curiosity what makes the 93 people who put "you deserve it" think what he did to deserve that
DGED13 5
Maybe they think he deserved to know now idk.