Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Today, I realized that the only time my girlfriend ever calls me is when she's drunk. FML
Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML
Today, I was texting this guy that I really liked. Things were going pretty well. I got a call from his number and excitedly answered it. It was his girlfriend asking if he was bothering me because he likes to text random people when he's drunk. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML
Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML
Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML
Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML
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Top comments
AnthonyWheeler15 24
Move on OP. You deserve better.
Mynameislinh 24
I am so sorry. Dump her right away and kick the other guy's ass. I hate how some people think being drunk gives you the right to do stupid stuff like that.
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Comments (148)
ouibijou 15
I wouldn't even beat anyone up I would just cut off all communication completely.
joetan 16
I think she loves you really.. But.. She has some character flaws that you have to live with if you still want to be with her..
Damitol 3
Homer Simpson: Hey Baby! Welcome to Dumpsville! Population: Yoooou!
roxxyfoxxy3 25
She was drunk...I've seen a lot of people making mistakes when their drunk. To the ones they love, too. I hope you two work it out.
mattorama 15
She regretted it immediately. If she used protection and it's the first time, this can be worked around.
AGB10 19
Here's what you need to do: Call her back but dont speak (as if its a mis-dialled call)..Put on some (very vocal) **** on in the background and interlace your talking. Revenge is sweet.
NodakN8V 25
Break up with her and tell her you wanted a real girlfriend not a public toilet.
jman26 11
Hope u loaded up your 12 gauge
Phyre24 17
been there, done that OP, trust me it's much better to move on
Bcfrmkc816 17
Hoped you dumped her right there while she was on the phone.