Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Today, I realized that the only time my girlfriend ever calls me is when she's drunk. FML
Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML
Today, I was texting this guy that I really liked. Things were going pretty well. I got a call from his number and excitedly answered it. It was his girlfriend asking if he was bothering me because he likes to text random people when he's drunk. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML
Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML
Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML
Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML
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Top comments
AnthonyWheeler15 24
Move on OP. You deserve better.
Mynameislinh 24
I am so sorry. Dump her right away and kick the other guy's ass. I hate how some people think being drunk gives you the right to do stupid stuff like that.
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Comments (148)
MythsNLegends 10
Sorry to hear that. I hope you get your next move figured out alright. It's been said to death already, but I'd be single afterwards for sure if I were you. Not so sure about the revenge bit though. If it was someone you truly cared for it's harder to want to do that kind of thing or want to without time to get past it first.
jackaced 7
Please say she was asking for a ride home from the party! "Denied, bitch!"
kelseeinez 10
What a hoe
dakatabg 31
Right
iloveshim 14
I'd like to know how and why 1101 think he deserved this. Was he too trusting?
fuco 7
Better to know it sooner than later...
Ellamore 13
I'm sorry OP. You could do better though. Move on. :)
monkeyy100 15
Just break up with her
LennyComa 39
Ditch the no good cheating Bitch
lovelyohhmee 8
*****!
rebelmonster 4
at least she was thinking about you? lol what a bitch.