Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Today, I realized that the only time my girlfriend ever calls me is when she's drunk. FML
Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML
Today, I was texting this guy that I really liked. Things were going pretty well. I got a call from his number and excitedly answered it. It was his girlfriend asking if he was bothering me because he likes to text random people when he's drunk. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML
Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML
Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML
Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
AnthonyWheeler15 24
Move on OP. You deserve better.
Mynameislinh 24
I am so sorry. Dump her right away and kick the other guy's ass. I hate how some people think being drunk gives you the right to do stupid stuff like that.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (148)
uoeno_fml 20
Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks
uoeno_fml 20
Ah, please excuse me. Someone already said that in this thread. My bad
Olympiakos10 15
Where is that line even from?! I've seen it 3 times today.
eaglerob 20
Revenge is a dish best served with her best friend.
MichaelT17 9
That sucks
Ibeatmyself 3
I hate when they tell me to be quite while their on the phone
Fluffydemise 18
Your username debunks your macho talk and implication of sexual conquest, #48.
emeraldisle 30
*they're *quiet
mattlw 25
It has already been said here, but I would leave her faster than she could drunk dial you again.
SmiffLah 13
Whoops!
oNisao 21
Move on,new gf.
xALEXx_fml 15
Where were you when all this happened?
RedPillSucks 31
In the bed on the other side.
xALEXx_fml 15
Obviously not. If she rang him duhhhhhhh
RedPillSucks 31
Obviously, it was a joke. Don't be so serious.
shins 7
Bang her. Then dump her.
illusong 16
I would not want to bang someone after they cheated on me, thats a disgrace to my body
love_me_electric 20
Everyone here is jumping to the conclusion that she cheated. Maybe this is just me, but I've slept in a bed with someone while drunk without having sex with them. I'd rather crash at someone's house than drive drunk, and a bed is much more comfortable than the floor.
sonnyrosa 32
Are you serious? Why would she be concerned with OP hearing him in the background if she wasn't sneaking around on him? And I'm sorry, when you're in a relationship, you don't sleep in a bed with another man. EVER. No matter how uncomfortable the floor is.
RedPillSucks 31
Mature people are capable of sleeping in the same bed without having sex. Sadly, this doesn't happen very often.
Reality_bites 14
#68, While i agree that no-one should ever drink and drive - it seems a little suspicious to me - I mean if it was all that innocent then why is she telling the guy to be quiet? It seems to me that she has a guilty conscience.
Reality_bites 14
#68, while I agree that no-one should ever drink drive, it seems a little suspicious to me that the girlfriend is telling the guy to be quiet. Clearly she didn't want the boyfriend to know about the guy, which makes me think it isn't that innocent. If it was above board, shouldn'twouldn't there be other party guests crashing in the same bed too, in which case it wouldn't be just the guy she was telling to be quiet?
Reality_bites 14
#68, While I agree that no-one should ever drink and drive, it doesn't sound to me that its very innocent. I mean if it was so above board, why was she only telling only the guy to be quiet? Surely there would be others that would have crashed in the same bed as well. In any case, its not a nice thing to do while supposedly in a committed relationship.
Cardiffian 5
I agree with you. Just because you are in bed with another guy doesn't mean you've slept with him. Also, she could have been telling him to be quiet because he was making noise? Besides, how does OP know he was in bed with her? She could have been sitting on a sofa, or there could have been more people in the room. Of course she could have been cheating, which is pretty horrible, but I'd personally give her the benefit of the doubt until we hear more from OP. If she has been cheating, then yeah, I think she deserves to be dumped, of course.