Kids and Health: Out of the mouth of babes...

Out of the mouth of babes...

By DEE - 26/07/2018 15:00

Today, while I was getting ready for the day, my 5-year-old daughter looked at me and said, "Mom, maybe you should do some gymnastics today. Your legs look bigger." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 770

You deserved it 479

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Same thing different taste

By me - 06/05/2013 00:56 - United States - Floresville

Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 557

You deserved it 6 958

By parentof5 - 23/04/2011 15:20 - United States

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 636

You deserved it 24 785

Truthbomb

By antwhite1987 - 08/05/2016 17:30 - United States - Chicago

Today, my 5 year-old daughter saw me getting ready to sit down in a fold-out camp chair, and told me, with a big smile on her face, "Daddy, you're too fat to sit in that chair. You'll break it with your big butt." Out of the mouths of babes, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 389

You deserved it 1 435

By Lax - 12/01/2009 09:37 - France

Today, my 5 year-old daughter watched me getting dressed in the bathroom and asked, "Mum, when my boobs grow, will they droop like yours?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 922

You deserved it 3 488

By lyss - 16/11/2018 10:30 - United States - New Prague

Today, my 4-year-old daughter asked me when I was going to be skinny like her daycare lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 571

You deserved it 370

By Missyangel - 31/12/2009 07:39 - United States

Today, my 7 year-old looked at me and stated, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 370

You deserved it 11 452

By madeyoulaugh - 25/11/2009 14:43 - United States

Today, I was watching my 7 year old daughter and her friend jump on our trampoline. I was really impressed by all the flips they were doing, and I told her "Hey! I can't even do that." To that her friend replied " Of course you can't. You're fat!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 985

You deserved it 8 183

Helpful

By Big bootay - 28/01/2019 16:00

Today, while at a restaurant, my 4 year-old son pointed at a lady and exclaimed, “Mom, her butt is even bigger than yours!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 222

You deserved it 355

Nice of her

By Bill - 06/12/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year-old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 961

You deserved it 18 115

By Ashy104 - 09/01/2010 05:36 - United States

Today, I asked my mom if she thought I looked skinny in my shorts. She jiggled my leg fat, looked up at me and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 786

You deserved it 26 353

free_parking 3

Thursday 26 July 2018 17:38

take her the 5 year old's advice. get your flabs to the gym kids are honest. if they say you're fat, yore fat

Davros 12

Friday 27 July 2018 0:11

See how small the back of my hand looks far away? Now look at it close up (thwack)

Comments

wanted_2_want 40

Thursday 26 July 2018 15:21

Wouldn’t be awesome that if one needs to lose a couple of inches of fat could exercise for only day and ‘puff’?!!!

julfunky 29

Thursday 26 July 2018 16:51

Shouldn’t it be “poof” rather than “puff?”

wanted_2_want 40

Friday 27 July 2018 3:50

I think either can be used with this context. The idea would have same meaning.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 26 July 2018 16:42

How rude! You ought to throw that kid in a vault and give her a pommeling!

free_parking 3

Thursday 26 July 2018 17:38

take her the 5 year old's advice. get your flabs to the gym kids are honest. if they say you're fat, yore fat

Cali 54

Friday 3 August 2018 19:38

Proofreading is never a bad idea, dude.

Davros 12

Friday 27 July 2018 0:11

See how small the back of my hand looks far away? Now look at it close up (thwack)

ojosRojos 28

Friday 27 July 2018 18:20

Ohhh kids. They can be brutal, but try not to take it to heart. I’m sure you’re beautiful!

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The Top

Today, I learned there is such a thing as "too much sex". After a full week of having sex at least twice a day with my girlfriend, I had to go to the GP due to a painful erection and swelling. The constant sex had caused me to burst a blood vessel in my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 633

You deserved it 2 907

Today, I was laying in my bed and discovered a couple of stray black hairs scattered about. This was odd considering I have light strawberry blonde hair but I forgot about it only to later see my hair brush have more of the same black hairs. I live alone. I'm scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 673

You deserved it 823

The Top

Today, I thought it was a great idea to join a work meeting while I was taking a shower. But thanks to Murphy's law, everything that could go wrong went wrong. I'd forgotten to turn off my webcam. Now my boss and my other 500 coworkers are asking me about my "OnlyFans account." FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 1 131

Today, my very good friend ratted me out to my boss because I used the photocopier for personal use. He said he will always be my friend, but "rules are rules." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 263

You deserved it 9 149

Today, while playing a game of Cards Against Humanity, I had to explain to 3 grown men that there is NOT an actual bone in their dicks. It's mostly vascular tissue that swells and becomes rigid, and a broken dick is when they pop one of the two main vascular tubes, which can cause many severe problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 156

You deserved it 110

Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 836

You deserved it 5 040

Today, my younger sister saw one of my friends "sack tap" me, and randomly did it to me herself as I walked past her. She doesn't get why it's "funny" when my friend does it but not as funny when she does it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 513

Today, while giving my final speech, a bump that had been growing on my arm popped. Pus leaked through my white dress sleeve, and it smelled like death. Everyone noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 897

You deserved it 2 534