Animals: Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried...

By Anonymous - 21/10/2014 15:49 - United States - Bedford

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 816

You deserved it 7 800

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Same thing different taste

By RomanceFail - 02/04/2015 12:51 - United States - Crestwood

Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 034

You deserved it 3 378

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 127

By Anonymous - 27/08/2014 23:04 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 574

You deserved it 7 507

Ouch!

By P0wned - 29/09/2009 21:21 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 961

You deserved it 5 269

By Anonymous - 20/10/2015 09:44 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 816

You deserved it 3 650

Poor good girl

By mary07 - 15/07/2022 14:00

Today, I woke up, got out of bed, but I didn’t notice the dog right next to my bed and accidentally kicked her. All the treats, apologies, and attempted pets in the world won’t help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 204

By hero to zero - 04/07/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 120

You deserved it 15 177

By badmom101 - 16/05/2009 11:26 - Canada

Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 681

You deserved it 6 397

By joe - 31/01/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 708

You deserved it 26 834

By filipinoclari808 - 16/04/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 789

You deserved it 81 425

GigaPudding_fml 24

Tuesday 21 October 2014 19:16

When you tickle someone you have to be prepared for the consequences...

HappyItalian 38

Tuesday 21 October 2014 19:16

Is your girlfriend that hairy?

Comments

AlbinoThunder_MD 10

Tuesday 21 October 2014 19:50

Your girlfriend is a Dog?

martin8337 35

Tuesday 21 October 2014 20:05

Foot fetish?

mattrd_fml 31

Tuesday 21 October 2014 20:08

Why was her face by your feet?

Eleora 19

Tuesday 21 October 2014 20:29

ouch. Lol

ofmiceandbrides 2

Tuesday 21 October 2014 20:29

The real question is, why was she messing with your foot?

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 21 October 2014 20:29

I could make a really bad comment so I'll just leave well enough alone...

allie2590 31

Tuesday 21 October 2014 21:44

Then why comment at all?

deaths_bride 12

Tuesday 21 October 2014 20:54

So, your dog is your girlfriend? O.o

Geeve95 11

Tuesday 21 October 2014 21:00

Don't treat your girl friend like a dog.

mylifebitches666 18

Tuesday 21 October 2014 21:09

Your gf/dog needs to learn about boundaries

Goblin182 26

Tuesday 21 October 2014 21:22

Wait, what?!

Keywords

Transportation Annoying Music Boredom Awkward Cars Embarrassing Kids Babysitter Family Relatable Thief Money Food Miscellaneous Gross Farts Mental health Health Depression Weird Pregnancy AITA Creepy Star Wars Social Media Facebook Wanker Work Bodyshaming

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Today, I was stuck in a window seat next to the biggest/angriest man I've ever seen. During the trip, I reached down to pick up what I thought was my pillow but instead managed to pull off his huge sock. I couldn't put it back so had to pretend I had no idea why he was glaring at me when he woke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 160

You deserved it 1 140

Today, my fat brother has nothing wrong with him. His blood pressure, cholesterol, and absolutely everything are perfectly normal, despite him being 10 stone overweight. I'm 12 stone and exercise regularly, yet I have 4 separate serious medical conditions, one of which might one day kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 194

The Top

Today, my mom's "hobby" of rescuing homeless people became very real. We now have 3 more people living in our house, and none of them have a sense of personal space. I wake up to their faces in my windows. Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 888

You deserved it 2 464

Today, I was fired from my cashier job for "abandoning my post." I saw a man pass out in the 100° heat in front of our store and I rushed to give him water. Not to worry though, my manager assured me he wouldn’t press charges for the water I took from the fridge, but I’m still fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 783

You deserved it 91

Today, my boyfriend's mom got him a shitload of Axe for his birthday. Now I get nauseous whenever I go near him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 889

You deserved it 5 485

Today, it's my birthday, and like every other Sunday, my wife's been called into work, and I'm left with our three toddlers and yesterday's mess to clean up. It's raining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 252

Today, my mum thought it would be acceptable to tell my school that the reason I will not be attending classes is because I have "the shits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 727

You deserved it 3 236

Today, after my boss asked me to work late on a Friday and I'd agreed, thinking it would show him my dedication to the corporation, I got to the office. I realized after a while that I was the only one there, and the building's security system had locked me in. I spent my Friday night talking to our office goldfish in an empty row of cubicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 648

You deserved it 178

Same thing different taste

Love hurts

Ouch!

Poor good girl

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