Intimacy: Today, I was watching TV with my mom. The new Trojan Ecstasy...

By aawkward... - 09/12/2009 19:27 - United States

Today, I was watching TV with my mom. The new Trojan Ecstasy condom commercial came on. I sat there awkwardly while my mom pulled out her shopping list. I bet you can guess what she added. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 048

You deserved it 2 513

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Same thing different taste

By bob - 05/02/2011 12:02 - United States

Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 151

You deserved it 4 219

By thanks mom ¬_¬ - 24/08/2013 22:05 - United States - Carlsbad

Today, my mom visited my new apartment for the first time. I was showing her the bedroom, when she looked into my opened sock drawer and said, "Using Durex, eh? Yeah, you were born 'cause a Trojan split." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 708

You deserved it 4 741

Flustered

By Anonymous - 21/06/2024 14:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, I went grocery shopping with my toddler. At the checkout, I realized that I forgot my wallet at home. As I frantically searched my purse, my toddler shouted, "Mommy, do we need this?" and held up a box of condoms she'd grabbed from a nearby shelf. Everyone stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 110

By condiments - 22/02/2010 21:13 - United States

Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 148

You deserved it 3 061

The talk

By Anonymous - 12/10/2009 01:28 - United States

Today, my mother had "The talk" with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 348

You deserved it 2 283

By dpl - 19/02/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 581

You deserved it 5 636

Thanks Mom

By Enko - 09/11/2008 07:43 - France

Today, my mum was watching a program about sexually transmitted diseases. Later on, she started telling me that I should be careful and use the right protection when having sex. Suddenly she stopped and said, "Actually, I don’t know why I’m telling you this, you don’t have a boyfriend!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 592

You deserved it 5 249

By lobotomy pls - 11/09/2015 18:40 - United States - Tappahannock

Today, I walked in on my mom, legs spread and changing her tampon, all while she was carrying on a conversation on the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 401

You deserved it 4 530

Memory loss

By UGH - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I remembered that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 281

You deserved it 81 096

Knock next time please

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 21:32 - India

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 794

perdix 29

Wednesday 9 December 2009 23:40

And your dad is out of town and/or had a vasectomy.

Starfire22 5

Wednesday 9 December 2009 23:41

sooo, your mom has sex. old people have sex , bug whoop...

Comments

missyfayee 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 23:07

first!!!!!

00yoda4 0

Wednesday 28 April 2010 5:31

I think she added bananas

danyfuckinheatle 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 6:49

you should get a bj from her.

wintamint101 7

Wednesday 16 June 2010 3:23

they were probably for you

ClaireBear9087 0

Thursday 9 September 2010 1:32

57 youre stupid. 1 no one cares that your first. blahh. and ooh you didnt know your mom had sex? how do you think you got here?

poisonflower 6

Sunday 23 January 2011 2:40

56, the op is a girl.

pokemai 6

Monday 10 June 2013 12:44

Yeah, and a girl should never have to buy her own condoms ... Seriously .........

CougeeSwagg 19

Tuesday 3 May 2016 5:38

Um, it's only fair for everyone to be prepared. Why should it be the guy's responsibility every time? It's common courtesy.

icanspellgud 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 23:16

why did she randomly have her shopping list with her?

me199 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 23:18

awkward and..... THIRD!!!!!!

corbincorbin 0

Saturday 17 July 2010 2:28

see at least you made a comment on it not like the idiot at the top who only says first

TheWhiteDemon 0

Thursday 19 August 2010 4:13

what happened yo second? O.o

me199 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 23:20

SECOND and why did you ask her for condoms?

perdix 29

Wednesday 9 December 2009 23:40

And your dad is out of town and/or had a vasectomy.

frikkinhannah 0

Tuesday 23 March 2010 14:59

perdix, you're my favorite.

Starfire22 5

Wednesday 9 December 2009 23:41

sooo, your mom has sex. old people have sex , bug whoop...

TheTerenity 9

Sunday 4 December 2011 5:23

*big

randomshuffle369 7

Monday 18 March 2013 2:31

Nein.

tristanh27 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 23:43

ya that's acward did she at least give you some. fifth

matt5217 4

Thursday 17 June 2010 20:50

nice try seventh

Lebanesegirl4Eva 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 23:50

Aww! Thats cute! But it is awkward especially if its your mom!

AtrumMessor 1

Wednesday 9 December 2009 23:50

Eww...

quintus5446 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 0:16

I'll say it; it's because YOU were the consequence of not using Trojan condoms (the ecstacy is icing on the ****). p.s. yeah, she hates you.

Keywords

Love Christmas Break-ups Miscellaneous Poopoo peepee Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Relatable You're fired Work Cars Covid Health Cheating Jealousy Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Roommate Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

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I agree, your life sucks 31 908

You deserved it 2 961

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I agree, your life sucks 34 241

You deserved it 15 010

Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 629

You deserved it 11 649