Intimacy: Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry....

By dpl - 19/02/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 581

You deserved it 5 636

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Same thing different taste

The talk

By Anonymous - 12/10/2009 01:28 - United States

Today, my mother had "The talk" with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 347

You deserved it 2 283

By Person - 07/06/2009 18:07 - United States

Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 640

You deserved it 9 942

By killercow - 19/04/2011 16:19 - United States

Today, I walked into the laundry room when my mom pulled a condom wrapper out of my pants pocket. She looked at me and said, "You know you can't wash and reuse these?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 232

You deserved it 23 007

Great chat!

By eric - 16/03/2011 07:31 - United States

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 236

You deserved it 96 460

By bob - 05/02/2011 12:02 - United States

Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 150

You deserved it 4 218

You sure this is the right time?

By KidCudi227 - 19/07/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, my mom gave me the "birds and the bees" talk, while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 839

You deserved it 3 395

Repent!

By Mauro - 22/03/2022 16:00

Today, I told my ultra-Catholic mother that I was hanging out with a girl. While walking out of the flat, I didn't realize that I'd dropped one of my condoms out of my pocket. My mother saw it and ripped it apart, then yelled at me that, "Sex is for having children! You're giving yourselves to Satan!" I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 266

You deserved it 338

By Told_You_So - 09/07/2009 06:33 - United States

Today, I was in the car with my mom and dad. My mom turned around and asked, "Have you had sex yet?" I said no, which is true. My dad cracked up and said, "Told you so!" My mom frowned, took out her wallet, and handed him $20. My parents bet on my nonexistent sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 081

You deserved it 5 087

You what?

By unknown - 02/11/2013 21:10 - Canada - Courtenay

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 533

You deserved it 6 904

One day…

By Animal - 24/02/2011 19:14 - Canada

Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 287

You deserved it 17 107

TC_fml 0

Friday 20 February 2009 2:12

You should have said, "Dad."

alwaysalady 0

Friday 20 February 2009 19:27

Parents don't like to think about their kids having sex. When I told my parents I was pregnant, my dad nearly attacked my husband. But really, you should hide your stash better. And follow 12's advice.

Comments

TC_fml 0

Friday 20 February 2009 2:12

You should have said, "Dad."

xkat356 0

Thursday 1 October 2009 5:09

loll, that was amazing.

MassiDelta 28

Thursday 20 August 2015 13:49

I'm not sure whether to laugh or be disgusted

mleugim 0

Friday 20 February 2009 2:15

@#4 jajajaja

atlgurlppsc 0

Friday 20 February 2009 3:13

haha

alphabeta_fml 0

Friday 20 February 2009 3:23

@ #4 OMG LOLOLOL

ZING_MASTER 0

Friday 20 February 2009 5:15

Yo momma just got her ZING ON!!!

alwaysalady 0

Friday 20 February 2009 19:27

sillypun 0

Friday 20 February 2009 20:04

I'm still lovin the ZING MASTERY mish831: sometimes you carry a condom in your pocket because you EXPECT TO USE IT. Do we know he/she always carries condoms? Maybe it was the night after the BIG DANCE or some BS like that. You jump to too many conclusion. I agree parents don't want to see it, but I'd rather have condoms around when I don't need them, then be missing them when I do. No one wants babies/STDs/to have go to the 7-11 at 1:45 when you are about to get some of the "sex". Thats just more time for the girl to realize that she is drunk and you're an a-hole. Besides... Condoms make sex so unpleasurable its actually worth it to be monogamous. Get that Bia-Bia on the pill. ZING

GuitarPlaya7 0

Tuesday 10 August 2010 8:11

I'd have sex with him^^^^ ;)

vballgirl811 0

Monday 29 August 2011 7:33

Lmfao!

fb_fml 0

Friday 27 February 2009 2:28

"Who would have sex with you?" "Evidently, no one"

fb_fml 0

Friday 27 February 2009 2:31

Why would your mom talk to you about the birds & the bees if you already are carrying condoms? Clearly you understand something...

sealedtight 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 4:38

LOL; the same think happened to me; only im 14 and female; and my momsaid; "well; its been washed; you might not want to use it; I will get you some more" then continued to say " i thought my condom box was missing a couple of condoms, now i know who used them."