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danyfuckinheatle

mr

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122
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1248
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San Jose, USA
42 years old
Wednesday 21 January 1981
Not specified

About Danyfuckinheatle

I'm a fuckin allstar.

Danyfuckinheatle - Followers

Danyfuckinheatle - Followed

Danyfuckinheatle's page visits

Hugged!

Danyfuckinheatle's FML badges

It's in the can!
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

100%
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

100%
The thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

0%
The return of the thumb
You have thumbed 5000 comments.

0%
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

5%
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

1%
Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

1%
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

0%

The list of badges to find

Danyfuckinheatle's favorite FMLs

By Mateo - 14/12/2008 03:58 - France

Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 772

You deserved it 67 458

Doubling down

By omgitserika - 18/11/2009 15:09 - United States

Today, I thought my online boyfriend was calling me, so the first line I said was "Hey, Baby." His wife answered with, "This is Jenny. Who's this?" After speaking for thirty minutes, I found out he's married, fifty-eight, and has two kids. I'm seventeen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 160

You deserved it 71 196

By TrueScotsman - 29/10/2009 14:31 - United States

Today, I wore my kilt to the university I attend. Getting tired of the stares which I was receiving, I yelled "It's cause its too big to fit in my pants". As soon as the words left my mouth, a gust of wind came and blew my kilt up around my waist, revealing that my previous claim was untrue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 974

You deserved it 57 339

By ilikeirishducks - 19/06/2009 13:51 - Italy

Today, I had a bath in the bathroom we are currently renovating. There's a big hole in the middle of the floor. When I got out of the bath, I swung one leg across the gap to get a towel from the rack. I drew back my leg and looked down to see my brother's hot friend staring up at me in horror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 780

You deserved it 21 081

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 15:50 - United States

Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weedwacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgetting that I am mowing where the dogs go to the restroom, I absent-mindedly weedwack over dog poop. Which got flung into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 954

You deserved it 26 197