Intimacy: Today, I was watching TV with my mom. The new Trojan Ecstasy...

By aawkward... - 09/12/2009 19:27 - United States

Today, I was watching TV with my mom. The new Trojan Ecstasy condom commercial came on. I sat there awkwardly while my mom pulled out her shopping list. I bet you can guess what she added. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 034

You deserved it 2 495

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By bob - 05/02/2011 12:02 - United States

Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 140

You deserved it 4 218

By thanks mom ¬_¬ - 24/08/2013 22:05 - United States - Carlsbad

Today, my mom visited my new apartment for the first time. I was showing her the bedroom, when she looked into my opened sock drawer and said, "Using Durex, eh? Yeah, you were born 'cause a Trojan split." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 699

You deserved it 4 730

By condiments - 22/02/2010 21:13 - United States

Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 136

You deserved it 3 059

The talk

By Anonymous - 12/10/2009 01:28 - United States

Today, my mother had "The talk" with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 331

You deserved it 2 278

By dpl - 19/02/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 570

You deserved it 5 629

Thanks Mom

By Enko - 09/11/2008 07:43 - France

Today, my mum was watching a program about sexually transmitted diseases. Later on, she started telling me that I should be careful and use the right protection when having sex. Suddenly she stopped and said, "Actually, I don’t know why I’m telling you this, you don’t have a boyfriend!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 573

You deserved it 5 247

By lobotomy pls - 11/09/2015 18:40 - United States - Tappahannock

Today, I walked in on my mom, legs spread and changing her tampon, all while she was carrying on a conversation on the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 390

You deserved it 4 515

Memory loss

By UGH - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I remembered that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 274

You deserved it 81 061

Knock next time please

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 21:32 - India

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 755

TMI FML

By eugh - 07/05/2021 14:01 - United States - Midlothian

Today, I discovered the brand of condoms my parents use. It was in the same grocery bag as my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 568

perdix 29

Wednesday 9 December 2009 23:40

And your dad is out of town and/or had a vasectomy.

Starfire22 5

Wednesday 9 December 2009 23:41

sooo, your mom has sex. old people have sex , bug whoop...

Comments

marc_with_a_c 3

Thursday 10 December 2009 0:17

how is that an fml.. unless she planned on buying them for you, but seriously she probably just remembered she needed to buy some condoms by seeing the add, get over yourself

xxmadicxx 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 0:37

oh condoms!! what a huge deal!! what are u,a fifth grader?

Shmeaty 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 1:20

congratulations. not only are you retarded, but your life is not f'd; it's average.

ihatedads 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 1:37

Time to invest in some earplugs (:

shaannonwilding 0

Tuesday 21 September 2010 16:08

WIN! xD

1990TD 6

Thursday 10 December 2009 1:39

YDI for having a mother who does have sex _o- hahahahahaha wtf, don't bother

michelleyily 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 1:48

VAGINAS!:)

matt5217 4

Thursday 17 June 2010 20:51

what's that?

chiapet 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 2:26

she put bread on the list?

movies12 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 2:41

Your mom was probably joking. My parents do that to. When commercials like that come on my dad's like "Well, it looks like I need to buy that" he just said it so he could see the horror in my face, he doesn't even do it anymore, cause I know. LOL