Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was in the cinema making out with my girlfriend. I asked her if she could stop trying to pass me her gum because it was kinda gross. She replied, "It's not gum, I just have bronchitis." FML
Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML
Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML
Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML
Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
Today, I talked to my crush for half an hour. It wasn't until I was home that I realised I had some remains of the sausage roll I ate an hour earlier spread all over my teeth. FML
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Top comments
luigisf 0
10-that is right about...a *****. you're too young.
Jessi_the_sexii 0
only 19997 minutes to go(:
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Comments (340)
SOLDamerican 0
i just saw tht
StayGoldForever 0
I spent about 3 days kissing my whole life. Sophomore at Highschool=p
ivegotanarb 0
you wish
womblebat 2
don't worry OP, you've your whole life to go yet :)
Kgirl2cute 6
I've never been kissed - OP wins! but seriously.. that's in your LIFETIME, idiot.
dwbb96 0
Comment Moderated.
EmilyIsLHAO 0
"I'm only 6 and I have spent over 50000 minutes kissing and I've had 35 boyfriends AND had sex!!!" said the future generations.
evfreak_fml 0
I hope not.
myyprincessxo 4
grossss.
thecoolio505 0
that means that one spends 333 hours kissing, which is 13.875 days which is rounded up to 2 weeks. what you saw on tv is complete bullshit. dw I've spent like 1 minute kissing (but I'm only 13 lol)
serenader 2
I'm only at 11,873 minutes kissing but I'm almost dead...better get busy. And I've spent 2189 minutes keeping track of the first #. It ain't easy staying on top of this stuff if you have a life, but I'm trying.
PplMakeMistakes 2
LOL !!!!
cANIBALIST1C 0
Oh boohoo, Im almost 16 and Ive never kissed a girl, besides my mother when I was a kid.
derkaderk 1
well it depends on how old op is