Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was in the cinema making out with my girlfriend. I asked her if she could stop trying to pass me her gum because it was kinda gross. She replied, "It's not gum, I just have bronchitis." FML
Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML
Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML
Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML
Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
Today, I talked to my crush for half an hour. It wasn't until I was home that I realised I had some remains of the sausage roll I ate an hour earlier spread all over my teeth. FML
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Top comments
luigisf 0
10-that is right about...a *****. you're too young.
Jessi_the_sexii 0
only 19997 minutes to go(:
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Comments (340)
pster03 0
then don't watch tv
iltby 3
Yeah, in an entire lifetime...and you're what, 16? Give it some time.
LilaBear 2
You're not dead either. Stop your sooking... that stat will be in reference to an entire lifetime. I'm willing to bet you're nowhere near the end of a standard lifetime.
spiderbesideher 0
sulking, not sooking, dumb ass
iltby 3
Sooking is also perfectly relevant...
spiderbesideher 0
tuff shit
dusthawg 4
all you kids that think it's cool spending your time having sex, kissing, having oral at the age of 12-14 you guys are ******, you make it so vulnerable for date rapes to happen which isn't cool. smarten up and focus on school not your sex life.
kimbaheartsyou 0
Could you direct me to some research that discusses a direct correlation between being sexually active at a young age and becoming a rape victim?
shitthappened 0
its ******* kissing.. you all are freakin bout 10 jesus christ this is elementary shit
MeTaLhEaD231 0
I've spent 0. and I'm 16
Dellis002 0
who really counts how long they have.
EightInchNails 9
You bastard! I was going to post this! Except I've clocked in 0 minutes. lol
usmc1113 0
thats okay im 18 averege looking and have spent none... so u have me beat.