Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was in the cinema making out with my girlfriend. I asked her if she could stop trying to pass me her gum because it was kinda gross. She replied, "It's not gum, I just have bronchitis." FML
Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML
Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML
Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML
Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
Today, I talked to my crush for half an hour. It wasn't until I was home that I realised I had some remains of the sausage roll I ate an hour earlier spread all over my teeth. FML
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Top comments
luigisf 0
10-that is right about...a *****. you're too young.
Jessi_the_sexii 0
only 19997 minutes to go(:
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Comments (340)
Dragons_corner 6
20,000 minutes is almost 6 hours. if they mean kissing and not the making out kind of kissing then 6 hours (20,000 mins) means in our hole life. if they mean the making out kissing (which I don't count as kissing) then 6 hours might mean weekly. so if your 20 then you might be alittle behind.
Rhad 0
Nice math...
Dragons_corner 6
lol thanks
justsayfuck 5
'20,000 minutes is almost 6 hours.' Fail.
mitchem 3
ha I can beat that...Ima loser with a total of 0min...booyah....
deathsupon1 0
Ive spent hours and im only a freshman:p
nldawgsccr22795 0
dnt worry about it. and I hate tht commerical it's always onn
JabariG91 0
they said average not below average
lemonzone25 17
They mean by the time you die, dumb*ss!
IPityTheFool 0
Haha fyl, I just turned 15 and I've spent well over 24 hours kissing but I'm not a manwhore me and my ex dated for a year and kissed a lot XD
minnymouse20 13
sameee
awhsum 0
I love that gum x)
ninjadude853 0
I HATE THAT COMMERCIAL!!!!
mintcar 10
Pancakes.