Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML
Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML
Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML
Today, I went into the store where my boyfriend works. I saw him talking to a customer, his back was facing me, so I went up and smacked his butt. Turns out it wasn't him. FML
Today, I was at my retail job and we had to change the mannequin's outfit. I had to hold her while my manager grabbed the new outfit. I rested my head on her naked plastic chest, and it was the closest I've got to affection in years. FML
Today, I mistook a mannequin in a store for a real person and apologized when I bumped into it. A staff member saw and said, "Don’t worry, he’s used to it." FML
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my friend when I saw my boyfriend in Victoria's Secret - with another girl. They were joking and laughing, and I was really pissed off. So I stormed into the store and slapped him. He looked up at me with an angry and confused expression. It wasn't my boyfriend. FML
Today, I walked up to my friend and slapped her ass, because that’s what we always do. Turns out, it wasn’t my friend, it was a total stranger. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
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Top comments
dammn 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAH , smooth . did she slap you back ?
amirn86 0
How do you not realize that someone is alive LOL Ditto #1
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Comments (258)
meadmaker 0
seriously, you can def. tell a real person from a plastic one. better get them contacts back on.
Gaston_fml 0
Can'T you tell? WTF? You deserved it
WendlaMimi 0
If I were your girlfriend, I would have broken up with you for being an idiot. How is it possible to not tell the difference between a mannequin and a real person? Here are a few helpful hints for the future: 1. People who are alive generally move in some way. 2. Mannequins are very rarely the color of actual flesh. Most are white, and some are exotic colors, like blue or pink. 3. If you see someone striking a pose, and not moving (or breathing), chances are it's a mannequin. 4. If the person is not elevated off the ground, chances are he or she is not a mannequin.
Creamysweeps 5
if he's behind her how would he be able to tell if she's breathing or not? and hello, maybe the only thing he was staring at was her ass... so he couldn't tell if she was moving or not.
mf_fml 0
you really didn't sense the...breathing? or slight movement?
alex_vik 0
Wow, you must be the dumbest person on the planet.
mac_fml 0
wouldnt the mannequin fall down if you smacked it? acting like this in public is just...so unclassy.
Cre6rul 0
wow that is the most fml ever
pencilmustache 0
totally your fault.
hockeyguy79 0
29- just by observation, ur name is pencil mustache. but in ur pic it's a pen mustache...
kibbleskid911 0
ahaha
Stan_Cubed 7
Haha pencil mustache. Sorry, had to. :P
kelc 0
haha. I actually think this is pretty funny. I can totally see my boyfriend doing that.
lemon_squeezy 0
totally believable!