Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML
Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML
Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML
Today, I went into the store where my boyfriend works. I saw him talking to a customer, his back was facing me, so I went up and smacked his butt. Turns out it wasn't him. FML
Today, I was at my retail job and we had to change the mannequin's outfit. I had to hold her while my manager grabbed the new outfit. I rested my head on her naked plastic chest, and it was the closest I've got to affection in years. FML
Today, I mistook a mannequin in a store for a real person and apologized when I bumped into it. A staff member saw and said, "Don’t worry, he’s used to it." FML
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my friend when I saw my boyfriend in Victoria's Secret - with another girl. They were joking and laughing, and I was really pissed off. So I stormed into the store and slapped him. He looked up at me with an angry and confused expression. It wasn't my boyfriend. FML
Today, I walked up to my friend and slapped her ass, because that’s what we always do. Turns out, it wasn’t my friend, it was a total stranger. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
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Top comments
dammn 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAH , smooth . did she slap you back ?
amirn86 0
How do you not realize that someone is alive LOL Ditto #1
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Comments (258)
choppedNskrewed 0
and while you were "joking with your girlfriend like you were touching it" the person didn't notice some guy was pretending to touch her ass? lol still amazingly hilarious though
Chaith 16
I'm picturing the girlfriend speechlessly onlooking as her man suddenly stops, and plays patty cake with another woman's ass. I had a good laugh, but I don't believe this could happen. Just no way a person would be posed in the same place and expression a mannequin would be.
cra_z_turtle 0
I thought this guy was a mannequin once! i was in a really old messy store and there were mannequins all over the place...he was standing really still facing away from me! luckily nothing happened(:
PaulG10 0
LMFAO i dont blame you dude, i stare at people all the time in the mall trying to make sure theyre not mannequins. i seriously sometimes get confused and cant tell (not to mention my vision is horrible....
Prisoner_24601 0
OMG. That's hilarious.
dkm26 0
this is believable- I used to work at Guess and I've had numerous people say they thought I was a manequin until i moved. so funny tho &&&& embarrassing. I woulda punched you if i was that chick tho
gqduck 0
Do you live in San Francisco or some other place full of "statue people" who get pulled off the streets by department stores to be live mannequins? I could see how that could happen. Still, slapping a plastic ass is kind of odd.
yayiii89 0
haha... wow. i think you can tell the difference between a person and a mannequin
shykneejess 0
Ya like you wouldn't know it wasn't a mannequin. There is a BIT of a difference in the feel.
2009FML 0
People like you make me sad. And you probably voted for McCain, to boot..