Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML
Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML
Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML
Today, I went into the store where my boyfriend works. I saw him talking to a customer, his back was facing me, so I went up and smacked his butt. Turns out it wasn't him. FML
Today, I was at my retail job and we had to change the mannequin's outfit. I had to hold her while my manager grabbed the new outfit. I rested my head on her naked plastic chest, and it was the closest I've got to affection in years. FML
Today, I mistook a mannequin in a store for a real person and apologized when I bumped into it. A staff member saw and said, "Don’t worry, he’s used to it." FML
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my friend when I saw my boyfriend in Victoria's Secret - with another girl. They were joking and laughing, and I was really pissed off. So I stormed into the store and slapped him. He looked up at me with an angry and confused expression. It wasn't my boyfriend. FML
Today, I walked up to my friend and slapped her ass, because that’s what we always do. Turns out, it wasn’t my friend, it was a total stranger. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
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Top comments
dammn 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAH , smooth . did she slap you back ?
amirn86 0
How do you not realize that someone is alive LOL Ditto #1
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Comments (258)
deliciouskaek 1
This is why girls need to have a sandwich every now and then. Eat something, ladies, or have some guy grab your flat butts in the shops.
sk8tin_rox 0
yo most manacines dont have arms !! did she have any arms?? And i hope she slapped u back HARD
sinadinosaur 0
What people are missing here is that he said he was joking WITH his girlfriend. Which probably means she thought it was a mannequin as well, which makes them equally stupid.
DULMAGE 0
Faaaaakeeeee.... how can you be pretending to poke a woman's behind without her noticing you, and without you noticing her MOVE. Please, you're either the male version of Helen Keller, but more stupid, or a liar. Real FML next time plox kthx.
crazydoug 0
i do that all the time "i thought it was a mannequin"
Ethan205 0
Niceeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! ahaha
Pongo_fml 0
i'm dying to hear how that conversation went down.
TheOrpheus 0
wow what are you dumb? how can you not tell?
squeaky_fml 0
I hope it was one of those people who are paid by department stores to pretend to be mannequins? They freak me out. If that is not the case, the only other possible explanation I can think of involves LARGE quantities of booze.
ZeroGravity107 0
#17, I passed by a Forever 21 or something similar and I was looking into the eyes of what I thought was a mannequin until I realized she was breathing. Those live models are pretty creepy sometimes.