Intimacy: Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped...

By Noname - 17/03/2009 10:16 - United States

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 655

You deserved it 211 409

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Same thing different taste

By ohcrap - 02/06/2011 10:05 - United States

Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 252

You deserved it 36 396

Christmas shopping

By Anonymous - 26/12/2019 20:00

Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 305

You deserved it 225

By notmydad. - 08/05/2010 10:07 - Philippines

Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 253

You deserved it 3 675

By pizzafreak18 - 21/06/2010 14:21 - United States

Today, I went into the store where my boyfriend works. I saw him talking to a customer, his back was facing me, so I went up and smacked his butt. Turns out it wasn't him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 073

You deserved it 54 975

By imaginationdarling - 13/05/2014 23:42 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was at my retail job and we had to change the mannequin's outfit. I had to hold her while my manager grabbed the new outfit. I rested my head on her naked plastic chest, and it was the closest I've got to affection in years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 494

You deserved it 7 267

By grabber - 09/08/2009 23:43 - United States

Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 356

You deserved it 11 009

By Anonymous - 24/07/2009 19:06 - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my friend when I saw my boyfriend in Victoria's Secret - with another girl. They were joking and laughing, and I was really pissed off. So I stormed into the store and slapped him. He looked up at me with an angry and confused expression. It wasn't my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 876

You deserved it 91 363

Classic move

By Anonymous - 01/04/2022 20:00 - Canada - Saint-jérôme

Today, I walked up to my friend and slapped her ass, because that’s what we always do. Turns out, it wasn’t my friend, it was a total stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 1 211

By anon - 05/04/2017 04:00

Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 705

You deserved it 758

By Anonymous - 23/01/2010 08:05 - United States

Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 856

You deserved it 4 481

dammn 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 20:02

HAHAHAHAHAHAH , smooth . did she slap you back ?

amirn86 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 20:03

How do you not realize that someone is alive LOL Ditto #1

Comments

dammn 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 20:02

HAHAHAHAHAHAH , smooth . did she slap you back ?

mzmartinez92 0

Saturday 8 August 2009 8:01

i sure damn hope so

meelmo 0

Sunday 8 August 2010 22:59

aahaha ;)

sarabellum93 0

Tuesday 19 October 2010 19:43

how?

VorpikeII 17

Friday 18 February 2011 4:00

damn that's an epic fail. Make sure it's actually a mannequin next time¡!¡!

Inritus1618 1

Saturday 30 July 2011 11:03

I wonder what the girlfriend's response was.

plum_lovin 28

Wednesday 19 December 2012 9:54

That chick must have had a nice bod to be mistaken for a mannequin...

evan_7899 28

Sunday 27 October 2013 19:06

Yeah every man just loves that plasticy skin tone

EdenCrystal 21

Monday 20 January 2014 21:26

How do you not notice that?

pancakesrock 7

Monday 16 June 2014 6:47

And no ******* FACE!! xD

amirn86 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 20:03

How do you not realize that someone is alive LOL Ditto #1

kissMyAsss_fml 0

Wednesday 12 May 2010 3:58

I know, it's really obvious. You just wanted to touch that girl's ass without getting in trouble with your girlfriend.

soldierz 0

Tuesday 24 August 2010 4:44

thatz what I'm saying who the hell doesn't realize it's not fake plastic

TurdFagg 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 19:37

Because he's lying. it's Fake!

annabelle_fml 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 20:03

how did you not know that?

bezach 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 5:51

#3 apperanty some people are white and stay stiff in one area

PimpdaddyCJT 13

Monday 31 May 2010 23:54

TWSS yu set ur self up

lolmonster34 0

Tuesday 10 January 2012 5:20

HEY! they're pretty convincing lol

ohemguyton 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 20:04

how can you not tell a real person from a mannequin.

fuzzzy12 3

Sunday 24 June 2012 5:59

usually the metal rod coming out of the crotch is a good telling sign

ilovehimalways09 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 20:04

Wow. Smooth. I hope the girl slapped you. Hard.

xkaokaox 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 20:05

are you blind?

rachelsantixo 1

Tuesday 17 March 2009 20:05

omg lol! how did that happen?

haleylynn24 0

Monday 15 March 2010 3:33

somebody is smart *rolls eyes*

emorockerownage 9

Tuesday 17 March 2009 20:06

stupid douche

Miru_fml 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 20:07

LOOOOL Why would you even do those things to an actual mannequin anyway!? You're in public, be civilized! LOL

aklm15 14

Wednesday 31 July 2013 7:07

Laugh out out out out loud?

ejvlols 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 20:07

dumbass

Piggilywiggily15 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 6:39

I love that picture. (above me)

orphinz 3

Tuesday 2 March 2010 23:09

don't fink u the 1 to talk tat ass

hockeyguy79 0

Monday 14 June 2010 5:13

10- lovely pic

s_arhan 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 19:57

grade a butts?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, thanks to pregnancy hormones, I had the most vivid dream of eating a caramel apple mousse cake with vanilla bean ice cream. Unfortunately, yesterday, also thanks to pregnancy hormones, I was diagnosed with diabetes. My dreams are taunting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 932

You deserved it 266

Today, I went to get the vaccination my college requires of all students. The nurse looked at my charts and told me there was good and bad news. The good news was that I didn't need the shot. The bad news was I needed four others. Now, both of my arms are swollen enough to make Popeye proud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 490

You deserved it 3 816

The Top

Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136 594

You deserved it 8 102

Today, it was my first day of work at my new job. I got dressed and arrived early, only to find out that the store had closed due to a power outage. Then I found out that the person who'd hired me had totally forgotten about hiring me anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 938

You deserved it 121

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 811

You deserved it 12 748

Today, I went home early from a business trip to find my house covered with rose petals. Thinking it was a romantic notion from my boyfriend, I went up to the bedroom. I opened the door to find him lying there, getting it on with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 657

You deserved it 2 749

Today, after I got turned down for yet another job, my dad glanced up at me and casually remarked that porn is always a stable market. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 453

You deserved it 6 652

Today, my neighbors got a motion sensor light that points at my window. It's so sensitive that it goes off every time an insect flies past. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 983

You deserved it 1 921

Same thing different taste

Christmas shopping

Classic move

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