Today, I was walking my new dog and saw this girl that I've had a crush on for months. When I approached her, I tried to look 'macho' with my dog. However my dog thought it would be more attractive to pee on my leg. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
Today, I was walking my big, fat, fluffy old dog when I saw my crush. I waved enthusiastically, but my dog chose that moment to squat down and unleash a string of poop. My crush looked horrified as I tried to scoop it up while still waving. FML
Today, I took my dog to the puppy park to meet girls. I met one very attractive girl, she loved my puppy, and she asked for my number. As she took out her phone, my dog defecated on her feet. She was wearing sandals. FML
Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when I saw a cute guy jogging towards me. I tried to look cool and gave him a smile. At that exact moment, my dog stopped to poop directly on my shoe. The guy jogged past without breaking stride and muttered, “Perfect timing.” FML
Today, while walking my dog, I saw a hot guy so I tried to look chill. My dog chose that exact moment to take an enormous dump. I didn’t have any bags. The dude stared while I pretended to check my phone until he walked off. FML
Today, I was walking my dog around my neighborhood, when I saw this really cute boy. My dog then saw a squirrel and dragged me through mud. FML
Today, I was walking my dog. A cute guy stopped me and said, "Wow, you are gorgeous!" I said thanks. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Not you, your dog." FML
Today, a friend came over to meet my new dog. The dog got excited and accidentally peed on him. I went to the kitchen to get something to clean it up. When I came back, my new dog was covered in my friend's pee. My friend claimed that peeing on my dog "showed dominance." FML
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Top comments
uneekfreak16 0
What kind of dog was it? I hope you weren't trying to look macho with a poodle. I think this one needs an illustration :p
mylifeisfuckeddd 0
lol! i hate when i am walking my dog and i have to pick up her poop and i'm walking around w. a bag a poop and a hot guy walks by
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Comments (114)
24788 7
This happens to many people who try to impress someone else.
tyonclav 0
I hope the dog you were trying to be macho with was a small puppy. Because that would have impressed me.. Hahahah..?
Capnstinkfoot 0
Why cant any1 just start a conversation w/a chick. Just go up & say hi how are you instead of impressing them with dogs or what have you FYLYDI douche
rachie94 0
i have an FML and its a good one too. Yesturday, i was at teh supermarket with my mom. I went to get some canned soup for the food drive at my school. I picked up a Cambles tomato soup not realizing it was open. As i was lifting it began to drip, i got grossed out adn dropped it all over my pants. it looked like i had my . all over my jeans. FML
Arinwyn 0
26 you're my hero
rachie94 0
listen to me! i took time in writing these comments and no one is reading them!!!!!!!
rachie94 0
duck all of ur moms
rachie94 0
i coment to much on this FML
junkinmahcranium 0
#2, it's called a trash can.
rachie94 0
i wish there was FML chat
TonkaCenter57 0
me too