Animals: Today, I was walking my new dog and saw this girl that I've had...

By chris - 09/06/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, I was walking my new dog and saw this girl that I've had a crush on for months. When I approached her, I tried to look 'macho' with my dog. However my dog thought it would be more attractive to pee on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 865

You deserved it 10 779

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Same thing different taste

By fmlman - 15/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Rawlins

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 370

You deserved it 6 378

By redmethod87 - 08/04/2009 16:08 - United States

Today, I took my dog to the puppy park to meet girls. I met one very attractive girl, she loved my puppy, and she asked for my number. As she took out her phone, my dog defecated on her feet. She was wearing sandals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 012

You deserved it 6 491

Bad boy

By PicklesMcRaptor - 25/03/2012 11:59 - United States - Miami

Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 703

You deserved it 3 583

By Username - 02/08/2011 17:35 - United States

Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 473

You deserved it 5 294

By psh_idontbite - 13/03/2015 03:55 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog around my neighborhood, when I saw this really cute boy. My dog then saw a squirrel and dragged me through mud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 714

You deserved it 3 555

By emma_waters23 - 26/04/2013 00:11 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I was walking my dog. A cute guy stopped me and said, "Wow, you are gorgeous!" I said thanks. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Not you, your dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 823

You deserved it 6 002

Social science

By Josh - 16/07/2021 06:01 - United States

Today, a friend came over to meet my new dog. The dog got excited and accidentally peed on him. I went to the kitchen to get something to clean it up. When I came back, my new dog was covered in my friend's pee. My friend claimed that peeing on my dog "showed dominance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 295

You deserved it 150

By Jimii Liu - 11/03/2012 01:41 - United States

Today, I had a date with a woman. She brought her dog along. Everytime I touched her, her jealous male dog began to bark and tried to bite me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 625

You deserved it 3 362

By gera3gera - 07/10/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 803

You deserved it 4 121

By mraow123 - 30/05/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 386

You deserved it 4 658

uneekfreak16 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 23:30

What kind of dog was it? I hope you weren't trying to look macho with a poodle. I think this one needs an illustration :p

mylifeisfuckeddd 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 23:24

lol! i hate when i am walking my dog and i have to pick up her poop and i'm walking around w. a bag a poop and a hot guy walks by

Comments

fxdxhk90 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 1:11

proud liberal, you truly are a the definition of "stupid bitch". The only reason that you think that men are dogs is because you are a major asswipe, and no man in his right mind would give you the time of day. Now, go find a femi nazi website site to rant on, cause no one here wants to read your horse shit.

um_duh 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 1:21

Chicks dig dogs, we're suckers for a lil cutey on 4 legs :) Hopefully she thought the dog was cute enough to get over the fact that your dog peed on you

um_duh 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 1:23

Chicks dig dogs, we're suckers for a lil cutey on 4 legs :) Hopefully she thought the dog was cute enough to get over the fact that your dog peed on you :)

Tika876 18

Wednesday 10 June 2009 1:27

Oober sexy

ohhboyy 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 1:31

rachie, second time, stfu.

beaniebabe 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 1:34

At least he didn't pee on the girl!!!

DarkMirror 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 1:35

A simple "Hello" would have been sufficient.

CinderElla21 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 1:36

whose rachie? shes pissing me off

CinderElla21 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 1:38

HEY! come to my profile, you will really like it

nuclear 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 1:39

#23 ftw. If you were standing there with your cute little dog I'd definitely stop and talk. If you had a big rottweiler and trying to look macho you're definitely not going to stop any girls..