Animals: Today, I was walking my new dog and saw this girl that I've had...

By chris - 09/06/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, I was walking my new dog and saw this girl that I've had a crush on for months. When I approached her, I tried to look 'macho' with my dog. However my dog thought it would be more attractive to pee on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 856

You deserved it 10 773

Animals

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Same thing different taste

By fmlman - 15/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Rawlins

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 367

You deserved it 6 373

By mraow123 - 30/05/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 377

You deserved it 4 657

By redmethod87 - 08/04/2009 16:08 - United States

Today, I took my dog to the puppy park to meet girls. I met one very attractive girl, she loved my puppy, and she asked for my number. As she took out her phone, my dog defecated on her feet. She was wearing sandals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 005

You deserved it 6 487

Bad boy

By PicklesMcRaptor - 25/03/2012 11:59 - United States - Miami

Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 695

You deserved it 3 580

By Nice guy finishing last. - 07/04/2017 12:00

Today, I saw a girl I have a crush on sitting on a fountain, away from everyone. I thought this would be the perfect time to make a move on her. I tapped her on the shoulder, which scared her. She nervously flenched and began to piss herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 373

You deserved it 918

By Username - 02/08/2011 17:35 - United States

Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 472

You deserved it 5 292

Pick it up

By Cassie - 02/05/2011 00:21

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 383

You deserved it 50 955

Soggy

By ninjapup - 02/01/2010 04:40 - Canada

Today, I was at a party, chatting up this guy while we were petting my friends dog. The dog had just been outside and was kinda wet, I assumed it was raining out. Just then someone came up and said "Um, that dog's covered in pee." Apparently someone peed off the deck onto the dog as it walked by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 126

You deserved it 2 966

Social science

By Josh - 16/07/2021 06:01 - United States

Today, a friend came over to meet my new dog. The dog got excited and accidentally peed on him. I went to the kitchen to get something to clean it up. When I came back, my new dog was covered in my friend's pee. My friend claimed that peeing on my dog "showed dominance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 289

You deserved it 147

By Anonymous - 24/06/2009 10:10 - Netherlands

Today, I ran into my crush of three years ago. We used to always walk our dogs together. He still remembered my dog's name. He didn't remember mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 149

You deserved it 3 998

uneekfreak16 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 23:30

What kind of dog was it? I hope you weren't trying to look macho with a poodle. I think this one needs an illustration :p

mylifeisfuckeddd 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 23:24

lol! i hate when i am walking my dog and i have to pick up her poop and i'm walking around w. a bag a poop and a hot guy walks by

Comments

xmusik 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 23:24

Suuuucks for you! FYL! Oooh. Possibly first!

nathaliiiexo 0

Friday 20 August 2010 10:33

zendaddy0 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 6:16

he was trying to be a good wingman but he just couldn't hold it

mylifeisfuckeddd 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 23:24

lol! i hate when i am walking my dog and i have to pick up her poop and i'm walking around w. a bag a poop and a hot guy walks by

TrollGrammarNazi 0

Tuesday 4 May 2010 2:13

First!!!

jillz 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 23:25

Next spend, spend less energy putting on a show.

mangoid 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 23:26

YDI for trying to be macho.

ohhfudge 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 23:26

ydi for saying "...tried to look 'macho' with my dog" :D

shirvon100 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 23:26

nxt time strt jogging and act like its a really big really wierd sweat spot

scarletclaw 11

Sunday 17 November 2013 21:14

The dog was just marking his/her territory by saying "this is my human!"

rachie94 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 23:28

dont you just love dogs and there uncontrollable bladder?

dem54 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 23:28

how does one look macho with a dog anyway ?

nuclear 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 23:29

I'm trying to imagine how one tries to look macho with a dog. Like by standing up straight with your chest puffed out while your dog pees? Anyways embarrassing but as a girl I'll say that I wouldn't be disgusted or laugh and point or something. But maybe I'm just nice..