Animals: Today, I was walking my new dog and saw this girl that I've had...

By chris - 09/06/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, I was walking my new dog and saw this girl that I've had a crush on for months. When I approached her, I tried to look 'macho' with my dog. However my dog thought it would be more attractive to pee on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 864

You deserved it 10 779

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Same thing different taste

By fmlman - 15/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Rawlins

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 370

You deserved it 6 377

By redmethod87 - 08/04/2009 16:08 - United States

Today, I took my dog to the puppy park to meet girls. I met one very attractive girl, she loved my puppy, and she asked for my number. As she took out her phone, my dog defecated on her feet. She was wearing sandals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 012

You deserved it 6 490

Bad boy

By PicklesMcRaptor - 25/03/2012 11:59 - United States - Miami

Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 703

You deserved it 3 583

By Username - 02/08/2011 17:35 - United States

Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 473

You deserved it 5 294

By psh_idontbite - 13/03/2015 03:55 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog around my neighborhood, when I saw this really cute boy. My dog then saw a squirrel and dragged me through mud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 714

You deserved it 3 555

By emma_waters23 - 26/04/2013 00:11 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I was walking my dog. A cute guy stopped me and said, "Wow, you are gorgeous!" I said thanks. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Not you, your dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 823

You deserved it 6 002

Social science

By Josh - 16/07/2021 06:01 - United States

Today, a friend came over to meet my new dog. The dog got excited and accidentally peed on him. I went to the kitchen to get something to clean it up. When I came back, my new dog was covered in my friend's pee. My friend claimed that peeing on my dog "showed dominance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 295

You deserved it 150

By Jimii Liu - 11/03/2012 01:41 - United States

Today, I had a date with a woman. She brought her dog along. Everytime I touched her, her jealous male dog began to bark and tried to bite me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 624

You deserved it 3 362

By gera3gera - 07/10/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 803

You deserved it 4 121

By mraow123 - 30/05/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 384

You deserved it 4 658

uneekfreak16 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 23:30

What kind of dog was it? I hope you weren't trying to look macho with a poodle. I think this one needs an illustration :p

mylifeisfuckeddd 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 23:24

lol! i hate when i am walking my dog and i have to pick up her poop and i'm walking around w. a bag a poop and a hot guy walks by

Comments

ohhboyy 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 23:31

unless your dog is like a proffessional badass try not using "macho with my dog" in your sentences caus thats just silly =P

rachie94 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 23:31

what kind of dog was it? it matters

Nomad609 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 23:32

ROFL!! you could have accompanied the dog to a nearby spot and take your shirt off, so you would still look impressive :))

xjeff99 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 23:33

dude i feel your pain my dog thought it was cool to shit in my girlfriend's pool. her dad still hasn't forgiven me yet.

tronner 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 23:33

These FMLs are just getting old. Between the ones where a girl says "I was trying to play hard to get" to the guys saying "I was totally acting macho" they really don't rise to the level of me thinking "God, that person's life is ******!"

crazyjack 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 23:33

YDI for trying to be macho. Don't do it... Just... Don't do it.

Geist_fml 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 23:36

let us hope that was pee. you are facing strong competition for the girl.

redbluegreen 40

Tuesday 9 June 2009 23:36

Any guy being "macho" with his dog is just hilarious, not attractive in any way. Guys, please stop doing this. FML should have atleast taught you this by now. What kind of dog was it?

chiodosluvr 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 23:36

haha. i hope she slapped you for it.

Arinwyn 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 23:37

I agree with whoever said this FML needs an illustration. I could just see the OP trying to look macho with like.. A chihuahua or poodle or something.